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In many countries, the traditional customs are being lost. What you think why this happens? What schools and parents need to do to keep the traditional customs alive?

In many countries, the traditional customs are being lost. What you think why this happens? What schools and parents need to do to keep the traditional customs alive? ar0X
Nowadays, there are less and less activities of traditional customs in our lives. This essay will discuss the factors contributing to this trend, followed by measures to address this problem. Several reasons cause this issue, but the primary reason is the rapid pace of modern life. Many traditional customs have started even thousands of years ago, which conveyed the thoughts, ideas, and habits cannot match everyday people's pace. The complicated process of traditional ceremonies reduces modern people's living efficiency, resulting in the neglect and refusal of conventional customs by more and more people. Furthermore, the ways to express traditions are too formalistic and unattractive. Fewer people are willing to accept it, making traditional culture stuck in a worse cycle of scant attention. The reality of modern people advocates independence and freedom, making the situation worse. They are more willing to show their personal identity in a unique way instead of restricted by specific traditional things. Meanwhile, the existence of over-commercialization is making the meaningless of our traditions. Businesses are trying to let various holidays becoming shopping days and let people forget the meaning of rituals. Several measures that schools and parents can take to keep the traditional customs alive again. Teachers can take advantage of modern communication at schools, such as network interaction and animations, to teach traditional knowledge. Besides, colleges and universities must set up related courses of traditions to cultivate more talents concentrated on research and education. Parents cannot only buy presents for children on holidays but also help children understand the value and meaning of traditions in daily life. As discussed above, outdated cultural content, dreary ways of communication, and over-commercialized holidays are the three main reasons resulting in traditional customs in danger of becoming trivialized. And this problem can be solved by enriching the modern technology teaching methods, setting up related courses, and expressing more conventional values in family lives.
Nowadays, there are less and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun activities is countable.
less
activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will discuss the factors contributing to this trend, followed by measures to address this problem.

Several reasons cause this issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the primary reason is the rapid pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
even thousands of years ago, which conveyed the thoughts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, and habits cannot match everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's pace. The complicated process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
ceremonies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's living efficiency, resulting in the neglect and refusal of conventional customs by more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, the ways to express
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are too
Possible spelling mistake found.
formalistic
and unattractive. Fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to accept it, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
culture stuck in a worse cycle of scant attention.

The reality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocates independence and freedom, making the situation worse. They are more willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their personal identity
Consider replacing "in a unique way" with the adverb for "unique"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a unique way
instead
of restricted by specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
things. Meanwhile, the existence of over-commercialization is making
The phrase 'the meaningless of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the meaningless of
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. Businesses are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
various holidays becoming shopping days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget the meaning of rituals.

Several measures that schools and parents can take to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs alive again. Teachers can take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
communication at schools, such as network interaction and animations, to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
knowledge.
Besides
, colleges and universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
set up related courses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
to cultivate more talents concentrated on research and education. Parents cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
presents for children on holidays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children understand the value and meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
in daily life.

As discussed above, outdated cultural content, dreary ways of communication, and over-commercialized holidays are the three main reasons resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of becoming trivialized. And this problem can
be solved
by enriching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology teaching methods, setting up related courses, and expressing more conventional values in family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the traditional customs are being lost. What you think why this happens? What schools and parents need to do to keep the traditional customs alive?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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