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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. LMJp
A number of people hold a belief that youngsters Shou should assist thế commmunity bu engaging in volunteer work during their leisure time. However, I partly agree with this opinion for the following reasons which will be analyzed in this essay.  There exist compelling reasons why I advocate the idea that teenagers should go in for some kinds of unpaid work when they have spare time. To commence with, doing non-profitable job broadens youngsters’ experiences such as working as a part of a team or learning new skills. Moreover, young people involving in unpaid jobs will enhance the local community. In fact, this helps the government lower the expense on workers, which can be spent on other necessary things.  On the other hand, I believe that society do not have the right to compel youngsters to do volunteer work in their free time. Firstly, youngsters do not have enough time for their studies, let alone getting involved in unpaid job. As a matter of fact, teachers at school expect their students to regular homework and exam revision every day. Secondly, as we are living in a civilized society, it is obviously unfair to ask other people, especially the young, to do non-profitable work if they do not want. Last but not least, teenagers have the right to choose what they want to do in their free time. If people keep on forcing them, this will lead to resentment amongst young people, which can trigger several negative impacts on personal development. In a nutshell, I think that people should let teenagers feel free to participate in unpaid work during their leisure time. This will benefit them better.
A number of
people
hold a belief that youngsters
Shou
should assist
thế
commmunity
bu
engaging in volunteer
work
during their leisure
time
.
However
, I partly
agree
with this opinion for the following reasons which will
be analyzed
in this essay.  There exist compelling reasons why I advocate the
idea
that
teenagers
should go in for
some
kinds of unpaid
work
when they have spare
time
. To commence with, doing non-profitable job broadens youngsters’ experiences such as working as a part of a team or learning new
skills
.
Moreover
, young
people
involving in unpaid jobs will enhance the local community. In fact, this
helps
the
government
lower the expense on workers, which can
be spent
on other necessary things.  
On the other hand
, I believe that society do not have the right to compel youngsters to do volunteer
work
in their free
time
.
Firstly
, youngsters do not have
enough
time
for their studies,
let
alone getting involved in unpaid job. As a matter of fact, teachers at school
expect
their students to regular homework and exam revision every day.
Secondly
, as we are living in a civilized society, it is
obviously
unfair to ask other
people
,
especially
the young, to do non-profitable
work
if they do not want. Last
but
not least,
teenagers
have the right to choose what they want to do in their free
time
. If
people
keep
on forcing them, this will lead to resentment amongst young
people
, which can trigger several
negative
impacts on personal development. In a nutshell, I
think
that
people
should
let
teenagers
feel free to participate in unpaid
work
during their leisure
time
. This will benefit them better.
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IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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