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Because of falling birth rates and better healthcare, the population of the world is slowly getting older and some believe that this create serious problems in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

Because of falling birth rates and better healthcare, the population of the world is slowly getting older and some believe that this create serious problems in the future. to this statement? wKOpl
Some people argue that decreasing in birth rate and improving healthcare system are the two major issues for loosing the young generations gradually. I completely agree with this opinion, as reducing birth rates and increasing health problems can negatively impact on the number of population. Nowadays, women are giving birth at the age of mid 40's or late 30's, which is very common, and could generate the negative influence on increasing natality. First off, for the time being, women are more career centric, which lead them to achieve their dream by pursuing higher education, and undoubtedly, it took a lot of time. After attaining their goal, conceiving and delivering successfully is uncertain for most of the time, because of the hormonal changes have done over the periods naturally, resulting in having premature deliveries or suffering from severe complications, and eventually loss the life of one or both in most of the cases. Secondly, young couples are also contributing to this fact equally. As, these groups mostly want to search new things, explore new places or enjoy their life to the fullest and often avoiding to be expecting a baby by taking some birth control methods such as contraceptive pills or injections. Unfortunately, these affects them in a long run through loosing physical strength, hormonal imbalance, and often suffering from incurable diseases, for example, Overian Cancer, PCOD and PCOS, due to this, they loose the ability to conceive. Additionally, health problems, such as cancer or organ failure are becoming more widespread now. Lifestyle choices are the most compelling reason for poor health. These day, it is perhaps easier and cheaper to follow an unhealthy diet. For instance, the recent boom in fast food restaurants and chains has enticed the young people to eat its establishment, which is not properly hygienic, and the food along with other ingredients are not upto the mark. Moreover, a lot of food consumed is processed food, especially with regard to ready-made meals. It contains high level of preservatives with other chemicals to store those items finely, which are really harmful for human body, resulting in affecting with some acute chronic disease, such as, stomach and liver cancer or kidney failure, and it may leads to loose one's life. For example, almost 30% of the adult in the world are suffering from cureless disease without any remedy, and could not be able to survive their life. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree with these opinion that declining in birth rate and better healthcare are equally responsible for loosing the newborn and youthful generations. If these problem would not get the proper attention, the number could be reduce day by day.
Some
people
argue that decreasing in
birth
rate and improving healthcare system are the two major issues for
loosing the
young generations
gradually
. I completely
agree
with this opinion, as reducing
birth
rates and increasing health problems can
negatively
impact on the number of population.

Nowadays, women are giving
birth
at the age of mid
40's
or late
30's
, which is
very
common, and could generate the
negative
influence on increasing
natality
.
First
off, for the time being, women are more career centric, which lead them to achieve their dream by pursuing higher education, and
undoubtedly
, it took
a lot of
time. After attaining their goal, conceiving and delivering
successfully
is uncertain for most of the time,
because
of the hormonal
changes
have done over the periods
naturally
, resulting in having premature deliveries or suffering from severe complications, and
eventually
loss the life of one or both in most of the cases.
Secondly
, young couples are
also
contributing to this fact
equally
. As, these groups
mostly
want to search new things, explore new places or enjoy their life to the fullest and
often
avoiding to be
expecting a baby by taking
some
birth
control methods such as contraceptive pills or injections. Unfortunately, these affects them in a long run through loosing physical strength, hormonal imbalance, and
often
suffering from incurable diseases,
for example
,
Overian
Cancer,
PCOD
and
PCOS
, due to this, they loose the ability to conceive.

Additionally
, health problems, such as cancer or organ failure are becoming more widespread
now
. Lifestyle choices are the most compelling reason for poor health.
These day
, it is perhaps easier and cheaper to follow an unhealthy diet.
For instance
, the recent boom in
fast
food
restaurants and chains has enticed the young
people
to eat its establishment, which is not
properly
hygienic, and the
food
along with other ingredients are not
upto
the mark.
Moreover
,
a lot of
food
consumed
is processed
food
,
especially
with regard to ready-made meals. It contains high level of preservatives with other chemicals to store those items
finely
, which are
really
harmful for human body, resulting in affecting with
some
acute chronic disease, such as, stomach and liver cancer or kidney failure, and it may
leads
to
loose
one's life.
For example
, almost 30% of the adult in the world are suffering from
cureless
disease without any remedy, and could not be able to survive their life.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
agree
with
these opinion
that declining in
birth
rate and better healthcare are
equally
responsible for
loosing the
newborn and youthful generations. If
these problem
would not
get
the proper attention, the number could be
reduce
day by day.
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IELTS essay Because of falling birth rates and better healthcare, the population of the world is slowly getting older and some believe that this create serious problems in the future. to this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
442 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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