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In most of the museums ,they cost for the entry tickets whereas,there are few museums ,they do not charge any amount for admission

In most of the museums, they cost for the entry tickets whereas, there are few museums, they do not charge any amount for admission qk0Wd
In most of the museums, they cost for the entry tickets whereas, there are few museums, they do not charge any amount for admission. Such museums provide free services to the visitors. According to me, this is the advantage to museums, which are charging for entrance. Through the income of admission tickets, the concern department try to maintain museums in good condition. Based on my knowledge, museums are the monuments which come under the property of government and based on such buildings, the local government try to promote tourism in their area. Museums are one of the best resources for earning income of the region as well as development of the economy of the country. It has been seen that the countries which are having many monuments, they are one of the biggest tourist hubs in the world. For example India and China these two countries are improving their infrastructure by charging for admission of their museums, art places and historical buildings. Besides that, there is one of the second reason that by charging for admission such places, we can keep safe them from unwanted visitors. Sometimes giving admission free in such places, causes negative effect on them. For example museums in the past years were not good in condition because of no entry barriers for the places as well as it has been found that such places have been used for commercial purpose also. Thus to conclude, charging for admission in the museums always give advantages over negative consequences. This is one of the vital thing to improve the economy of the country as well as keeping such places safe from foreign visitors. On the other hand, it is very important in terms of cultural and economical aspects.
In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, they cost for the entry tickets whereas, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, they do not charge any amount for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
provide free services to the visitors.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, this is the advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
for entrance. Through the income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
tickets, the concern department try to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition.

Based on my knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are the monuments which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under the property of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and based on such buildings, the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
try to promote tourism in their area.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are one of the best resources for earning income of the region
as well
as development of the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
monuments, they are one of the biggest tourist hubs in the world.
For example
India and China these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are improving their infrastructure by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and historical buildings.

Besides
that, there is one of the second reason that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
safe them from unwanted visitors.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
free in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on them.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in the past years were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no entry barriers for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as well
as it has
been found
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for commercial purpose
also
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
to conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
always give advantages over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. This is one of the vital thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as keeping such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
safe from foreign visitors.
On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in terms of cultural and economical aspects.
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IELTS essay In most of the museums, they cost for the entry tickets whereas, there are few museums, they do not charge any amount for admission

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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