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banning smoking of all public places

banning smoking of all public places Vw6p7
First, Let’s briefly talk about negative health effects caused by smoking. Tobacco smoke mainly consists of Nicotine and other toxic materials, that can lead to all sorts of cancer, as such as mouth and throat, esophagus, stomach, colon cancer, and the list goes on. However, numerous studies show that, while smoking has an adverse effect on its user, it also harms everyone else around them. In this short essay we will discuss about adverse effects of smoking, also about prohibiting it. Smoking in rural crowded public area can be quite deadly. For instance, study conducted by Harvard University on smoking suggests that, second hand smoking can be 80% more dangerous than actually smoking. This means just standing next to a person who is smoking, is bad as using 4 cigarettes at once. Just exposure to smoking can cause diseases and premature death among people who do not smoke. Therefore, secondhand smoke causes an estimated 41, 000 deaths each year among adults in the United States. Also, smoking in public places, as such as restaurants, cinemas and supermarkets encourages children and teens to smoke a tobacco, as it sets a bad example for them. On the other hand, research led by Cambridge University shows that nationwide ban on public smoking could prevent as many as 154, 000 heart attacks each year in the US alone. That’s why number of countries, as such as Norway, New Zealand, Uruguay and Malta prohibited public smoking. Consequently, their fatality rate by cancer and other diseases caused by tobacco smoke decreased significantly. In conclusion, this last instance proves that banning of smoking in all public places, can have immense benefits of saving lives, protecting our youngsters and many more. Leaving it unbanned can have immeasurable amounts of consequences. Therefore, we all should consider banning smoking of all public places.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
briefly
talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
health effects caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
mainly
consists of Nicotine and other toxic materials, that can lead to all sorts of cancer, as such as mouth and throat, esophagus, stomach, colon cancer, and the list goes on.
However
, numerous studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has an adverse effect on its user, it
also
harms everyone else around them. In this short essay we will
Did you mean simply "discuss adverse"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about adverse
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
also
about prohibiting it.

Smoking in rural crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
area can be quite deadly.
For instance
, study conducted by Harvard University on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
suggests that, second hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can be 80% more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
than actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
standing
next
to a person who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
as using 4 cigarettes at once.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can cause diseases and premature death among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
.
Therefore
, secondhand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
causes an estimated 41, 000 deaths each year among adults in the United States.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places, as such as restaurants, cinemas and supermarkets encourages children and teens to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
a tobacco, as it sets a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
example for them.

On the other hand
, research led by Cambridge University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that nationwide ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as 154, 000 heart attacks each year in the US alone. That’s why number of countries, as such as Norway, New Zealand, Uruguay and Malta prohibited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
Consequently
, their fatality rate by cancer and other diseases caused by tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
decreased
significantly
.

In conclusion
, this last instance proves that banning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places, can have immense benefits of saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, protecting our youngsters and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Leaving it unbanned can have immeasurable amounts of consequences.
Therefore
, we all should consider banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places.
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IELTS essay banning smoking of all public places

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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