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Bad situation- accept it or not?

Bad situation- accept it or not? yRm3P
we face different situations everyday. Some make us happy and some make us sad, which in turns make our thoughts negative about life. Specially when the situation is bad, it becomes difficult to accept it and move forward but some people keep different opinion about bad situation and says we should be accepting about such things. In this essay we will discuss about both the sides of a bad situation. It is good if we accept all the bad situations of our life. It could be shortage of money, unsatisfactory job, problem with your family or partner. If we accept such situations with a happy heart, our life will become more easy. Our thoughts will be more positive and we will be more joyful. It will also keep people around us happy. On the other hand some people think that we shouldn't always accept bad situations rather we should always try to improve. Like if someone has an unsatisfactory job then that person should try to find such a job which makes him happy and gives full satisfaction. Instead of accepting what comes your way, you should move into different direction and find what best suits you. If a person is having a toxic relationship with his/her partner he/she should leave such relationship and this will improve his/her mental condition. I was in a bad situation 2 years back. I was stuck in a bad working condition and everyone working there was stuck too but they somehow accepted the exploitation by the boss and used to think that, that was the only job for them but I stood against it and resigned from that job and found another one with better conditions and better salary. So, in my opinion we should always move forward and improve.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
face
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different
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situations
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
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Some
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make
us happy and
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some
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make
us sad, which in turns
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make
our thoughts
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negative
about life.
Specially
when the
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situation
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
, it becomes difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward
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but
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
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different
opinion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and says we should be accepting about such things. In this essay we will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
the sides of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situation.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
of our life. It could be shortage of money, unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, problem with your family or partner. If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
with a happy heart, our life will become more easy. Our thoughts will be more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
positive and
we will be more joyful. It will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around us happy.

On the other hand
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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think
that we shouldn't always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
rather
we should always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. Like if someone has an unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then that person should try to find such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him happy and gives full satisfaction.
Instead
of accepting what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
your way, you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
direction and find what best suits you. If a person is having a toxic relationship with his/her partner he/she should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
such relationship and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his/her mental condition.

I was in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
2 years back. I
was stuck
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
working condition and everyone working there
was stuck
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they somehow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
the exploitation by the boss and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, that was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I stood against it and resigned from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and found another one with better conditions and better salary.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion we should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
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IELTS essay Bad situation- accept it or not?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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