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Avoiding preventable illnesses is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments.’ Do youu agree or disagree with the statement?

Avoiding preventable illnesses is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments. ’ Do youu agree or disagree with the statement? LBEY1
As people have paid taxes to the government, it is believed that they should be provided with free healthcare and qualified education. However, others disagree with the statement, as they think that each individual should be responsible for his or her own health and education. The following essay will discuss both views in details. On the one hand, many people believe that it is the government's responsibility to provide standard health care and decent education to their people. As people have paid income taxes, property taxes, value added taxes and other kinds of fees to the government, these funds should also be beneficial for the people as well. Some portions of the budget should be allocated to fund medical activities and educational programs. Having a lot of educated and healthy residents brings many benefits for the government, as there are a lot of skill and productive labours in the country who would develop the country's economic sector. On the other hand, some people believe that health and education is a personal matter as it is the responsibility of each individual to maintain own their health and education. They disagree if education and healthcare should be funded from the taxes. They think that it is unfair because some people might be working hard and paid a large amount of taxes, but others might be indolent or jobless and get the same benefits from the government. Therefore they believe that healthcare and education should be standalone institutions, and each people should pay for getting a good education and maintaining their own health. In conclusion, to a certain point, I would agree that it is the government's task to provide education and healthcare for their people, as some poor people might not be able to get a good education and decent healthcare. However, although these services might be provided by the government for free, each individual must be responsible for their own education and healthcare, as these services are funded by taxes that are paid by the public.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, it
is believed
that they should
be provided
with free healthcare and qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, others disagree with the statement, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that each individual should be responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The following essay will discuss both views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to provide standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, property
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, value
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of fees to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, these funds should
also
be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
portions of the budget should
be allocated
to fund medical activities and educational programs. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
educated and healthy residents brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and productive
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
in the country who would develop the country's economic sector.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a personal matter as it is the responsibility of each individual to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They disagree if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare should
be funded
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be indolent or jobless and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they believe that healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be standalone institutions, and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay for getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and maintaining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health.

In conclusion
, to a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's task to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and decent healthcare.
However
, although these services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for free, each individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare, as these services
are funded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
by the public.
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IELTS essay Avoiding preventable illnesses is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments. ’ Do youu agree or disagree with the statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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