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average, citizens in first world countries are growing obese at alarming rates. Governments must take action in order to stem this unhealthy epidemic. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

For the past decade, facts about the bursting rates of obesity have been seen in the headlines. Some people believe that since it is the fault of the individuals themselves, so they should be the ones to address their weight problems. However, I feel these people are obviously unable to help themselves, and it is the role of government to try and reverse the trend. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind my opinion. Firstly, many of the overeaters are living in first world nations, and, although they received a first world education, nutrition advice was clearly lacking. Seeing as education is the responsibility of the government, they should be the ones who step in and take action. Take my high school, for example. I took many advanced science classes, and the required health and physical education blocks, but I never received any information on healthy portion sizes, which people need to recognize among such food abundance. Not only is there a necessity of nutrition education, but there is also a need for community action to encourage active citizens, due to there being nothing to stop people from getting in their cars, going home to the couch, and consuming a bag of chips and a pint of ice cream. Since motivation to be active is clearly lacking from a large part of the population, the government should take it upon themselves to stem this unhealthy epidemic and force to be society healthier and therapy, happier and more productive. In sum, people are too heavy and this excess is literary lethal, the government must step in. I hope that in the near future, there are more health policies that cause obesity rates to recede.
For the past decade, facts about the bursting rates of obesity have been
seen
in the headlines.
Some
people
believe that since it is the fault of the individuals themselves,
so
they should be the ones to address their weight problems.
However
, I feel these
people
are
obviously
unable to
help
themselves, and it is the role of
government
to try and reverse the trend. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind my opinion.

Firstly
,
many
of the overeaters are living in
first
world nations, and, although they received a
first
world
education
, nutrition advice was
clearly
lacking. Seeing as
education
is the responsibility of the
government
, they should be the ones who step in and take action. Take my high school,
for example
. I took
many
advanced science classes, and the required health and physical
education
blocks,
but
I never received any information on healthy portion sizes, which
people
need to recognize among such food abundance.

Not
only
is there a necessity of nutrition
education
,
but
there is
also
a need for community action to encourage active citizens, due to there being nothing to
stop
people
from

getting in their cars, going home to the couch, and consuming a bag of chips and a pint of ice cream. Since motivation to be active is
clearly
lacking from a large part of the population, the
government
should take it upon themselves to stem this unhealthy epidemic and force to be society healthier and therapy, happier and more productive.

In sum,
people
are too heavy and this excess is literary lethal, the
government
must
step in. I hope that in the near future, there are more health policies that cause obesity rates to recede.
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IELTS essay average, citizens in first world countries are growing obese at alarming rates. Governments must take action in order to stem this unhealthy epidemic. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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