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All students should study art and music in school.To what extent do you agree/disagree ?

Art and Music should be taught to all students in school. Although some people support this idea, others are against it. In my opinion, Art and music should be a part of the curriculum of all students but only up to a certain class. The main reason for teaching art and music is because they form an important part of any culture. If schools stop teaching these subjects to all students, they will prevent the culture of their society, which has developed over many years, to be carried forward to the next generation. Moreover, if art and music are not compulsory in schools, many parents may discourage their children from studying them since they rarely lead to lucrative careers. Few students who take up art and music will not be enough for keeping a culture alive for the next generation. However, art and music should only be compulsory till a certain age. If a student has an interest in these subjects he or she can opt to study them further. It will be of no use to force these subjects on students who do not have a passion for them. For example, schools can make these subjects compulsory till the age of ten. This will ensure that every pupil learns about the basics of these subjects which will be enough for the progression of a particular culture. Also, till this age, a budding musician or an artist would have got enough time to know his inclination and will surely volunteer to study them further. In conclusion, each student must be taught art and music up to a certain age for the sake of keeping different cultures alive. However, after a certain age, they should only be taught to students who are interested in them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
should
be taught
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, others are against it. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should be a part of the curriculum of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
up to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

The main reason for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they form an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
teaching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of their society, which has developed over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, to
be carried
forward to the
next
generation.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are not compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents may discourage their children from studying them since they rarely lead to lucrative careers. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
alive for the
next
generation.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be compulsory till a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has an interest in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
he or she can opt to study them
further
. It will be of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to force these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not have a passion for them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
compulsory till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of ten. This will ensure that every pupil learns about the basics of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the progression of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Also
, till this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, a budding musician or an artist would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to know his inclination and will
surely
volunteer to study them
further
.

In conclusion
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
up to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for the sake of keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
alive.
However
, after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
are interested
in them.

IELTS essay All students should study art and music in school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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