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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? jAyX
In current time, the number of young people is higher and the strength of aging people is lower. This essay will argue that despite there being some positive points of a greater number of older people, the larger number of adulthoods have excessive benefits. When there is a large quantity of sixties people in any country, their decision making can be extraordinary. This means that the people who spend their whole lives contains plenty of experiences with them. Those experiences and decisions perhaps are utilized in the critical decisions of any nation. The evidence can be seen in highly critical posts; anyone can reach them after ages and with a lot of experience because the reason behind this is the whole life experience of older people. However, I believe that people in their twenties can handle things in a better way. Employing fresh graduate people in a critical post may become up with the latest solutions and decisions which may not be able to handle by high age society. Moreover, young people can more active, and they can organize things fastly in a more efficient way. Besides, the world is changing, and the era is technical now. That’s why young people can learn things easily with the comparison of their older counterparts. For instance, if any country like China is using the latest technology, young people of Pakistan can compete with them by using the same kind of technology, and this technology is hard to operate for older people. Therefore, I believe that newer people are more reliable to handle any nation. In conclusion, although older people are a major part of our society, they enrich with a lifetime experience, I believe that benefits from younger people far outweigh from the benefits of older ones.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is higher and the strength of aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is lower. This essay will argue that despite there being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of a greater number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the larger number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
adulthoods
have excessive benefits.

When there is a large quantity of sixties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in any country, their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
can be extraordinary. This means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend their whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
with them. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
perhaps
are utilized
in the critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
of any nation. The evidence can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
highly
critical posts; anyone can reach them after ages and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the reason behind this is the whole life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their twenties can handle things in a better way.

Employing fresh graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a critical post may become up with the latest solutions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which may not be able to handle by high age society.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can more active, and they can organize things
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
in a more efficient way.
Besides
, the world is changing, and the era is technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn things
easily
with the comparison of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
counterparts.
For instance
, if any country like China is using the latest technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Pakistan can compete with them by using the same kind of technology, and this technology is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to operate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, I believe that newer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more reliable to handle any nation.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are a major part of our society, they enrich with a lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, I believe that benefits from younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
far outweigh from the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ones.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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