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at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Op17
Nowadays, the current population of several countries involves a wide number of young people, when we compare with the number of the older population. From my point of view, having a young population of more than older ones comes with some advantages and disadvantages. This essay will focus on these situations and discuss which status gives more advantages to a country. If a country's average age is closer to young people, this country has a wonderful workforce. There is too much energy in this area compared to the other countries and it reflects positively on the economy. However, there are some disadvantages too. These kinds of countries are mostly undeveloped or developing countries so it may lead to young populations wants to go abroad for study or living. Turkey is an excellent example for countries like this. On the other hand, if the older population is relatively larger than young people, obviously there are some advantages and disadvantages too. For instance, in these countries, life expectancy is higher and people live more. We can definitely see health conditions are improved here which is definitely an advantage but these people will be a burden for this government when they are getting older and older. In my personal opinion, downsides are more than benefits. Sweden is an example of this situation. In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages for both situations. I believe that having youth has more positive side classes with older people. Of course, some problems can occur like brain drain but these kinds of problems can easily be solved with a detailed plan.
Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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population
of several
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countries
involves a wide number of
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, when we compare with the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. From my point of view, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages. This essay will focus on these situations and discuss which status gives more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to a country.

If a country's average age is closer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a wonderful workforce. There is too much energy in this area compared to the other
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countries
and it reflects
positively
on the economy.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too. These kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
mostly
undeveloped or developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
wants to go abroad for study or living. Turkey is an excellent example for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like this.

On the other hand
, if the
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older
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population
is
relatively
larger than
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young
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people
,
obviously
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages too.
For instance
, in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, life expectancy is higher and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more. We can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
health conditions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
here which is definitely an
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advantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
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people
will be a burden for this
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government
when they are getting
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older
and
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older
. In my personal opinion, downsides are more than benefits. Sweden is an example of this situation.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages for both situations. I believe that having youth has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side classes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems can occur like brain drain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these kinds of problems can
easily
be solved
with a detailed plan.
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IELTS essay at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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