Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages AOb1
As a result of improved medical care individual are living longer and there is increased in average life expectancy. This essay will discuss the benefits of medical care, and I believe that definitely there are more merits than demerits. To embark on, the major significant factor of improved medical care has made people more healthy than before, as a result, many elderly people are living longer. Thesedays, there are diffent health care centre in the country that take care of people who are old citizen, and the government is giving special attention to those. For instance, many nurses work in old age home care to look after elderly citizen. Moreover, With the slogan of healthy people, healthy nation many doctors and nurse are trained to take care of citizen. On the other hand, advancement in technology in health sector has led to increase in life expectancy. In the recent times, robots are being used in medical sector to cure the patient. For instance, complex surgery is made possible through robots, otherwise many people may have lose their life. Many harmful disease and virus are being cured with the medical research and development. For example, recently corona virus pandemic has affected the whole world, and many people lost their lives because of this virus, but with the technological advancement many countries are able to discover the vaccine, which increase the immune power to fight against the deadly virus. In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that there are certain disadvantages of improved health care but at the same time benefits cannot be overlooked.
As a result
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
individual are living longer and there
is increased
in average life expectancy. This essay will discuss the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, and I believe that definitely there are more merits than demerits.

To embark on, the major significant factor of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more healthy than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living longer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thesedays
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffent
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "centres"?
centre
in the country that take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
citizen, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is giving special attention to those.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nurses work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to look after elderly citizen.
Moreover
, With the slogan of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, healthy nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors and nurse
are trained
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of citizen.

On the other hand
, advancement in technology in health sector has led to increase in life expectancy. In the recent times, robots are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sector to cure the patient.
For instance
, complex surgery
is made
possible through robots,
otherwise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have
Use past participle here: "lost".
lose
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
harmful disease and virus are
being cured
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research and development.
For example
, recently
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
pandemic has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the whole world, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
because of this
virus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the technological advancement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are able to discover the vaccine, which increase the immune power to fight against the deadly virus.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny the fact that there are certain disadvantages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time benefits cannot
be overlooked
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts