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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? 2BJj
The fact that the bigger size of young groups than elder ones in many countries triggers a debate. In my opinion, although older people can contribute to the society a lot, this trend is likely to bring more benefits than the drawbacks. It is undeniable that the older individuals could bring about lots of positive effects that younger people is less likely to do. Specifically, they have plenty of valuable experience, which could not only be used directly to the work and life, but also can be imparted to young people to help them make informed decisions. As a result, companies could save much time and costs and young people may have a more clearer path to success, since the experienced people could help them avoid many time-sapping and energy-sapping mistakes. On the other hand, it seems that the larger number of youngsters could bring about more advantages. The main reason is that they have better health condition than the older generations, which means they can be able to do a variety of works that involve lots of strength. For example, if a job entails constant travelling, even if the older employees are better skilled, they may not stand it physically. In addition, more energy is likely to lead to the higher efficiency, which is beneficial to the developments of companies and countries. In conclusion, while it is generally believed that the older people plays a crucial role in the world, the youth still have more potential in the long run.
The fact that the bigger size of young groups than elder ones in
many
countries triggers a debate. In my opinion, although
older
people
can contribute to the society a lot, this trend is likely to bring more benefits than the drawbacks.

It is undeniable that the
older
individuals could bring about lots of
positive
effects that younger
people
is
less likely to do.
Specifically
, they have
plenty
of valuable experience, which could not
only
be
used
directly
to the work and life,
but
also
can
be imparted
to young
people
to
help
them
make
informed decisions.
As a result
,
companies
could save much time and costs and young
people
may have a
more clearer
path to success, since the experienced
people
could
help
them avoid
many
time-sapping and energy-sapping mistakes.

On the other hand
, it seems that the larger number of youngsters could bring about more advantages. The main reason is that they have better health condition than the
older
generations, which means they can be able to do a variety of works that involve lots of strength.
For example
, if a job entails constant travelling, even if the
older
employees are better skilled, they may not stand it
physically
.
In addition
, more energy is likely to lead to the higher efficiency, which is beneficial to the developments of
companies
and countries.

In conclusion
, while it is
generally
believed that the
older
people
plays
a crucial role in the world, the youth
still
have more potential in the long run.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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