Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? DpQm
In the current scenario, young adults portion has in a substantial amount when compared to the older people. Having more young people is a good sign for a country because they can bring more innovation, and they also have a creative mindset, due to this, they are highly capable of solving a problem. Moreover, younger people have more energy than older, so their productivity will increase, and the countries economy will increase exponentially when the productivity increase. For example, many companies- such as Google, Microsoft and Facebook- hiring many adults than their previous year because they’re very curious and enthusiastic to work. Therefore, the younger one produces more benefits to their country. On the other hand, young people have the knowledge to work, but they are not good enough to work with their peers because they don’t have any experience. The Experience is like how to do a thing in the right way, or it acts as a guide which shows a better path to work to prevent the failures. Without having older people/ not giving any priority to older is an awful decision for any countries. Also, young people even get success without any assistance from an experienced guy, but it takes more time to reach the success point. Self-development books are the prime example to show how the benefits of having older people and their mindset, the purpose of those books are to teach people from their experience. In conclusion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because if the population of adults is large, the results of outcomes might be uncertainty, and this never could help the countries to bloom.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults portion has in a substantial amount when compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can bring more innovation, and they
also
have a creative mindset, due to this, they are
highly
capable of solving a problem.
Moreover
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more energy than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their productivity will increase, and the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
economy will increase
exponentially
when the productivity
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "increases".
increase
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
- such as Google, Microsoft and Facebook- hiring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults than their previous year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they’re
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious and enthusiastic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
, the younger one produces more benefits to their country.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their peers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t have any experience. The Experience is like how to do a thing in the right way, or it acts as a guide which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a better path to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the failures. Without having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
/ not giving any priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
is an awful decision for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success without any assistance from an experienced guy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it takes more time to reach the success point. Self-development books are the prime example to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how the benefits of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their mindset, the purpose of those books are to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their experience.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the population of adults is large, the results of outcomes might be uncertainty, and this never could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to bloom.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts