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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? X2xP
Many countries now have a large population of young people. While some people believe that this is advantageous, others are of the opinion that having the right mix of young and old people is essential for maintaining the proper balance. This essay will analyse both sides of the argument before arriving at a reasoned conclusion. There are certainly several benefits to having more young people. To begin with, young people are more productive than old people. They are also healthier. As a result, industries have no difficulty finding the best talent. For instance, India has no scarcity of educated and skilled young people. Therefore, companies operating in the country are never short of talented people. Another advantage of having a large population of young people is their ability to bring about necessary changes in the thinking of the nation. It is a generally accepted that young people change their attitude as per the need and always challenge the old style of thinking. This helps the country to grow and gain acceptance on the global stage. Young people are also healthier and need less spending on healthcare. That said, there are also some downsides to having more young people. Youngsters need jobs and if the country cannot generate enough employment opportunities for its young population, it can be a problem. India, for example, has a high unemployment rate because it has the highest number of individuals in the age bracket of 20-40 years. Joblessness can also lead to an increase in criminal activities. To conclude, when we look at the positive changes young people can bring about in a society it is not hard to see that the advantages of having more young people outweigh the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a large population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
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people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is advantageous, others are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the right mix of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is essential for maintaining the proper balance. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both sides of the argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a reasoned conclusion.

There are
certainly
several benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more productive than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They are
also
healthier.
As a result
, industries have no difficulty finding the best talent.
For instance
, India has no scarcity of educated and skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
operating in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are never short of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a large population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is their ability to bring about necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the thinking of the nation. It is a
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude as per the need and always challenge the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
style of thinking. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to grow and gain acceptance on the global stage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
healthier and need less spending on healthcare.

That said, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Youngsters need jobs and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
cannot generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
employment opportunities for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population, it can be a problem. India,
for example
, has a high unemployment rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has the highest number of individuals in the age bracket of 20-40 years. Joblessness can
also
lead to an increase in criminal activities.

To conclude
, when we look at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can bring about in a society it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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