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As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almos

As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almos 15m6q
The argument here states that the use of a compound that prevents breaking down of neuropeptide by PEP enzymes should be extended to students who have poor memory and difficulty in concentrating. This argument fails to maintain several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To satisfy this conclusion, the author’s reason is that it will help to restore the lost memory and improve the school performance of students. However, careful scrutiny of evidence reveals that it provides little justification to the author’s conclusion. Hence, the argument is considered incomplete or unsubstantiated. First of all, the argument readily assumes that when people got older PEP enzyme increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. This is merely and the assumption made without much solid ground. The argument does not mention the relevant source of that statement. There can be a possibility that the argument present here is only a hunch of the author rather than reliable theory. There is also a possibility that the PEP enzymes are not responsible to break down the neuropeptide chemicals. However, the argument would have been better if it explicitly stated the theoretical statement with reliable references. Secondly, the author argues here that it is found that the use of that compound which prevents breaking down the neuropeptide by PEP, completely restored the memory of rats. This again is a weak analogy used by the argument and it does not demonstrate the clear correlation between the test of the compound on rats and its effect on the student. The argument fails to explain how the restorations of memory on rats were measured. It also fails to explain how the PEP and its effect on neuropeptide are similar in rats and humans. Moreover, the arguments state that use of those chemical compounds on students helps to prevent neuropeptide from deteriorating and help to perform better in school task who previously have concentration and memory problem. However, careful scrutiny of evidence reveals that it provides little support for the author’s statement in various critical aspects and raises skeptical questions. For example, what has a rate of PEP enzymes occurred in younger student and older people? How did Test make on rats? What is the reliability that one test successes on rat will be definitely success in human? Who will be responsible if those chemicals do not work properly in the student with occurring negative side effect? Without the convincing answer to these questions, the reader is left with the impression that the author’s argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author must provide clear and more concrete information about the theoretical reliability of that compound and test. The anatomical similarity of rats and humans will also help to strengthen the argument. The argument should also guarantee the test is not insidious to the students.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
here states that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a compound that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuropeptide
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enzymes
should
be extended
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
and difficulty in concentrating. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
fails to maintain several key factors on the basis of which it could
be evaluated
. To satisfy this conclusion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
reason is that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to restore the lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the school performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, careful scrutiny of evidence reveals that it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
justification to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
conclusion.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is considered
incomplete or unsubstantiated.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
readily
assumes that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enzyme
increasingly
breaks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuropeptide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
involved in learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
. This is
merely
and the assumption made without much solid ground. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
does not mention the relevant source of that statement. There can be a possibility that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
present here is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a hunch of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
rather
than reliable theory. There is
also
a possibility that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enzymes
are not responsible to break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuropeptide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
would have been better if it
explicitly
stated the theoretical statement with reliable references.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
argues here that it
is found
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of that compound which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuropeptide
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEP
, completely restored the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
of rats. This again is a weak analogy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
and it does not demonstrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
correlation between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
of the compound on rats and its effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
fails to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the restorations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
on rats
were measured
. It
also
fails to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEP
and its effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuropeptide
are similar in rats and humans.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
state that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
compounds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuropeptide
from deteriorating and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to perform better in school task who previously have concentration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
problem.
However
, careful scrutiny of evidence reveals that it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
support for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
statement in various critical aspects and raises skeptical questions.
For example
, what has a rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enzymes
occurred in younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
? How did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Test
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
on rats? What is the reliability that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
successes on rat will be definitely success in human? Who will be responsible if those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
do not work
properly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with occurring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side effect? Without the convincing answer to these questions, the reader is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with the impression that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is more of a wishful thinking
rather
than substantive evidence.

In sum, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and more concrete information about the theoretical reliability of that compound and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
. The anatomical similarity of rats and humans will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to strengthen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
should
also
guarantee the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
is not insidious to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almos

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
492 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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