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As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.2

As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 2
Since the majority of adults spend a considerable amount of their time at work, job satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. Respect, pride, appreciation are some of the reasons for job fulfilment, while getting it in reality is a far away dream for a few staff, because of unemployment and the need of money to feed the family. Employees get work fulfilment in a number of ways, to begin with, a job is more than a pay cheque, which needs to be a source of pride and self respect. Additionally, feeling valued, valuable work, positive feedback and training opportunities develop skills, this contributes toward a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker. Moreover, the sense of belonging to a team or a working community also adds to job satisfaction, as colleagues help each other to enjoy working lives. To illustrate, according to a recent survey two factors came on top, where almost 80% of people agree that they would stick to jobs if valued by managers and offered opportunities to progress. However, hard economic realities mean that many people have little choice in getting the right job. In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality. Furthermore, the money earned is just enough to pay their living expenses which often means going through periods of discontentment. For instance, a poll conducted online states that 70% of people would leave jobs if it were not for money. In conclusion, even though it is unlikely for everyone feeling content with a job, still it is not unrealistic to promote job satisfaction in any field. If above factors are implemented, any job can be improved to create a greater degree of job fulfilment.
Since the majority of adults spend a considerable amount of their time at work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. Respect, pride, appreciation are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
, while getting it in reality is a far away dream for a few staff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unemployment and the need of money to feed the family.

Employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
work
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
in a number of ways, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is more than a pay
Possible spelling mistake. 'cheque' is British English.
cheque
, which needs to be a source of pride and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self respect
.
Additionally
, feeling valued, valuable work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback and training opportunities develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, this contributes toward a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker.
Moreover
, the sense of belonging to a team or a working community
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, as colleagues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to enjoy working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To illustrate, according to a recent survey two factors came on top, where almost 80% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they would stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if valued by managers and offered opportunities to progress.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
economic realities mean that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
choice in getting the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases an employee is working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that suits neither their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
nor their personality.
Furthermore
, the money earned is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay their living expenses which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
means going through periods of discontentment.
For instance
, a poll conducted online states that 70% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if it were not for money.

In conclusion
,
even though
it is unlikely for everyone feeling content with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
still
it is not unrealistic to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction in any field. If above factors
are implemented
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to create a greater degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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