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As languages such as English, Spanish, and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice?

As languages such as English, Spanish, and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice? GkL2
In this globalization era, the tendency of learning majority languages has increased. It is widely believed that this phenomenon will threat the existence of indigenous languages. Many nations, especially in the third world, have passed various regulations to protect their mother tongues. Some people claim that those steps are futile. However, I believe that the governments need to protect the minority ones. To begin with, it is argued that those developed countries do not have to protect their minority languages due to plenty of reasons. First, the extinction of languages is a natural process, which is inevitable. The globalization era has led to form a “global village”, where all countries will transform into one society. As consequence, the minority languages will be dominated by the majority ones as a daily language, and therefore people will start to forget the less-known languages. Furthermore, people learning new languages is a positive trend, which is needed in today’s high-competitive era. For instance, the ability to speak majority languages such as English or Mandarin has become the prerequisite skills to be hired in most companies. Nevertheless, I disagree with those aforementioned arguments. I believe that the governments should preserve their origin languages. First, there are thousands of languages has disappeared. Research shows that 5000 out of 7500 languages are extinct due to the globalization repercussion. Foreign wave has threated the local languages through various platforms. To illustrate, most Indonesian people prefer to learn Korean language than their local languages because of the Korean movie exposures. Moreover, languages are the primary aspect in cultures because it represents country’s identities. Hence, by protecting the languages, it means that the governments protect their national identities. In conclusion, some people claim that countries do not have to protect their less well-know languages because the extinction of minority languages in unavoidable, and it is a positive development to people learning popular languages. However, I disagree with those statements. Governments protecting their indigenous languages is crucial because the foreign wave is uncontrollable, and languages are a part of national identity.
In this globalization era, the tendency of learning majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has increased. It is
widely
believed that this phenomenon will threat the existence of indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations,
especially
in the third world, have passed various regulations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their mother tongues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that those steps are futile.
However
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
ones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is argued
that those developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons.
First
, the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is a natural process, which is inevitable. The globalization era has led to form a “global village”, where all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will transform into one society. As consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will
be dominated
by the majority ones as a daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to forget the less-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learning new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, which
is needed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s high-competitive era.
For instance
, the ability to speak majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
such as English or Mandarin has become the prerequisite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
be hired
in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Nevertheless
, I disagree with those aforementioned arguments. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should preserve their origin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
First
, there are thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has disappeared. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 5000 out of 7500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are extinct due to the globalization repercussion. Foreign wave has
Possible spelling mistake found.
threated
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
through various platforms. To illustrate, most Indonesian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to learn Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the Korean movie exposures.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are the primary aspect in cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it represents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
identities.
Hence
, by protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, it means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their national identities.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their less well-know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in unavoidable, and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learning popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
However
, I disagree with those statements.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
protecting their indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the foreign wave is uncontrollable, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are a part of national identity.
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IELTS essay As languages such as English, Spanish, and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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