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Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages? mkXq
The multinational companies are an important part of world's economy that the range of their activities passed the borders and developed around the world. In addition, these companies tend to finance in developing countries. Moreover these countries try to attract them considerably for financing in their country. However, becoming these multinational companies increasingly common in developing countries has some advantages and disadvantages at the same time. The multinational companies act an important role in becoming economy as a worldwide economy. For example, companies affect on volume and scale of worldwide business, as a result, these companies are the main cause of rapid increase of foreign straight financing. Because of this it is clear that this issue can be efficient for participation between multinational companies and developing countries. The rapid expanding of the multinational companies throughout the world is main reason why economic experts believe that develop of world's economy in the future is all due to these companies' activities. For instance, multinational companies with effect on financial authority surround the worldwide economy. This clearly shows that prediction for worldwide economy in the future without sufficient cognition about these companies' activity is useless. Consequently, being unpredictable is the most disadvantageous issue for multinational companies' position in the worldwide economy. As a result with consideration to multinational companies' tendency to surrounding the worldwide economy and curbing it with its activities, are going to be expanding and becoming common in developing countries. Furthermore, that can act a extend role in international economy.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
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companies
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
that the range of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
passed the borders and developed around the world.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
tend to finance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
these
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countries
try to attract them
considerably
for financing in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, becoming these
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multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
increasingly
common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages at the same time.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
act an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in becoming
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economy
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
For example
,
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companies
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on volume and scale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worldwide
business,
as a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are the main cause of rapid increase of foreign straight financing.
Because of this
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this issue can be efficient for participation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries.

The rapid expanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
throughout the world is main reason why economic experts believe that develop of world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in the future is all due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with effect on financial authority surround the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. This
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that prediction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in the future without sufficient cognition about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is useless.
Consequently
, being unpredictable is the most disadvantageous issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies'
position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worldwide
economy.

As a result
with consideration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies'
tendency to surrounding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and curbing it with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, are going to be expanding and becoming common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
, that can act
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extend role in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
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IELTS essay Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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