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As information technology progress, electronic devices have been a part of our daily life.

As information technology progress, electronic devices have been a part of our daily life. pJow9
As information technology progress, electronic devices have been a part of our daily life. It is generally considered that information technology has bring us benefits but some part of society think it has some drawbacks. To large extent, I believe that the advantages of information technology outweigh the drawbacks. In my view, an electronic device has provided us a ease of access in different aspects. Firstly, with access to the internet, we can obtain any knowledge without having to go to the library. For instance, the wikipedia is huge knowledge base where people can access with one click. Moreover, items can be ordered online through online shopping. People can buy furnitures, books or even food just by sitting at home. Finally, people can entertain themselves with the help of information technology. For example, playing games on a computer or mobile device, watching movies on Netflix or YouTube. However, Information technology may bring harm to us. From health perspective, the electronic devices emit radiation when operating, which could be harmful to human body. The monitors of the device could also impact people's eye if the usage time were long. Thus users must control their usage time in order to avoid any irreversible damage. Furthermore, Information technology also raise security concerns. People's senitive information such as credit card number, passwords may be exposed to the public, causing money loss. Therefore, people need to obtain some basic knowledge of cybersecurity when using the Information technology. To sum up, Information technology are beneficial to us in most aspects. Even through, the technology need to be used with caution. If the technology were poorly handled, users might experience some serious consequences such as money loss. Volume6 Test1 Writting2 Band 6. 0 True. . . . . .
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
progress, electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have been a part of our daily life. It is
generally
considered that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
Use past participle here: "brought".
bring
us benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. To large extent, I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
outweigh the drawbacks.

In my view, an electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
has provided us
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.
Firstly
, with access to the internet, we can obtain any knowledge without having to go to the library.
For instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wikipedia
is huge knowledge base where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access with one click.
Moreover
, items can
be ordered
online through online shopping.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
furnitures
, books or even food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by sitting at home.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can entertain themselves with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For example
, playing games on a computer or mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
, watching movies on Netflix or YouTube.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may bring harm to us. From health perspective, the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
emit radiation when operating, which could be harmful to human body. The monitors of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
could
also
impact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's eye if the usage time were long.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control their usage time in order to avoid any irreversible damage.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
raise security concerns.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
senitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as credit card number, passwords may
be exposed
to the public, causing money loss.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic knowledge of cybersecurity when using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
technology.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are beneficial to us in most aspects. Even through, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with caution. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
were
poorly
handled, users might experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious consequences such as money loss. Volume6 Test1 Writting2 Band 6. 0 True.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay As information technology progress, electronic devices have been a part of our daily life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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