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As far as the population of the Earth rise the demand for natural resources are growth and it bring to their exhausting

As far as the population of the Earth rise the demand for natural resources are growth and it bring to their exhausting 2rNwj
As far as the population of the Earth rise the demand for natural resources are growth and it bring to their exhausting. Considering this fact most people opine that authority need to discourage public from making needless shop by following modern trends and I absolutely agree that government have an important role in this process. On the one hand, modern life require constant use of products and durability is also important. Firstly, higher-authority must keep consumerism policy in top level, which can make merchandise last-longer and make their quality by global standards. It means that the necessity for purchasing new goods can lowdown and prevent from exhausting natural resources. Secondly, it is possible to create culture by introducing extracurricular lessons in state schools by make upcoming generation with modern ideas. It means that they can change traditional view about the commodity and their utilization. In addition, we need encourage second hand stores, which is the best way to reduce cost of the product and save natural deposit. On the other hand, they need to inform buyers about harm and overuse of material rather than make commercial for increasing sales, such as, they can oblige companies to show quantity of raw product for certain good. For example, if people find that for creating a piece of clothe need to use 12 litters of water, they will probably try to buy less things in trend and think about people who even have not water to drink. Tax, furthermore, can an effect force people mind about product even for people with wealth background. In conclusion, however our resources run out by unwarranted use of people, I believe that authority can effect on this process.
As far as the population of the Earth rise the demand for natural resources are growth and it
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
to their exhausting. Considering this fact most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that authority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to discourage public from making needless shop by following modern trends and I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this process.

On the one hand, modern life require constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and durability is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Firstly
, higher-authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
consumerism policy in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
merchandise last-longer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their quality by global standards. It means that the necessity for purchasing new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can lowdown and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from exhausting natural resources.
Secondly
, it is possible to create culture by introducing extracurricular lessons in state schools by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
upcoming generation with modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. It means that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
traditional view about the commodity and their utilization.
In addition
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
encourage second hand stores, which is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and save natural deposit.

On the other hand
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to inform buyers about harm and overuse of material
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
commercial for increasing sales, such as, they can oblige
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
quantity of raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find that for creating a piece of clothe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
12 litters of water, they will
probably
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun things is countable.
less
things in trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who even have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "watered".
water
to drink. Tax,
furthermore
,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "cans".
can
an effect force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mind about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
even for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with wealth background.

In conclusion
,
however
our resources run out by unwarranted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe that authority can effect on this process.
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IELTS essay As far as the population of the Earth rise the demand for natural resources are growth and it bring to their exhausting

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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