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as conutries develop their population tend to live individually or as small family units.ehat are the causes of this trend what are the effects of this trend

as conutries develop their population tend to live individually or as small family units. ehat are the causes of this trend what are the effects of this trend MqLnQ
Increasing number of people in any develop area tend to do changes to their family trends i. e more conjugal families are formed as a result. This is mainly because of urbanisation and a money orientated conduct towards life. there are also number of effects of such changes in a family structure. Firstly, the developments in this ever changing world are causing people to migrate from one place to another by hook or by crook. This is due to the urbanization, big cities of countries are becoming hub of better opportunities for the general well-being of their population. For example, rural individual working in a multinational firm eventually take his/her family to the samne city he/she working in. Furthermore, family structure is becoming nuclear with each passing day, due to the lack of resources to be fulfilled in an extended family. Every breadwinner
Increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in any develop area tend to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trends i. e more conjugal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are formed
as a result
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
and
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "money".
a money
orientated conduct towards life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
also
number of effects of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure.
Firstly
, the developments in this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
world are causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to migrate from one place to another by hook or by crook. This is due to the
Do not mix variants of the same word ('urbanization' and 'urbanisation') within a single text.
urbanization
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities of countries are becoming hub of better opportunities for the general well-being of their population.
For example
, rural individual working in a multinational firm
eventually
take his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
samne
city he/she working in.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure is becoming nuclear with each passing day, due to the lack of resources to
be fulfilled
in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Every
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
breadwinner
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IELTS essay as conutries develop their population tend to live individually or as small family units. ehat are the causes of this trend what are the effects of this trend

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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