Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Personal statementtttttttttt

Personal statementtttttttttt PLndJ
Our country, Thailand, is still considered a developing nation and that will take years to change. That is what I was taught throughout my entire life in school and at home. Ever since, I have thought about how to narrow the prosperity gap where I come from. This is what has sparked my interest in the field of International Relations where I hope to serve as a diplomat for my own country. I think studying this subject at undergraduate level will help me realise my vision of becoming an ambassador fighting for justice and equality at governmental level where my efforts can make a difference. At high school I chose History as a subject due to my personal interest in global affairs. Of all those aspects, the one that I am eager to learn about the most is the conflict between Judaism, other religions and non-religious in Israel. Despite not having visited the country myself, as a practising Buddhist I fundamentally understand not only how such intense debate and tension has shaped people's views on the matter worldwide, but also how the governments of the countries involved work to minimise the tensions at an international level in order to avoid conflict. This is why I am intrigued by diplomacy and its power to resolve issues in a calm, civilised and profoundly cooperative manner. Furthermore, I also dedicate my time to studying world historical events, for instance, how the French Revolution under King Napoleon had contributed greatly in the ruling system in France. This enhance my understanding more specifically why is it such an impact Another factor which has attracted me to the study of International relations is my own experience of being an international student in New Zealand and the UK. I have witnessed first hand the differences between nationalities and how the diversity of school participants from wholly contrasting linguistic and cultural backgrounds can have an enormously positive effect in academic and personal development. Likewise, I believe this has shaped me into a global citizen with a heightened cultural awareness. Furthermore, speaking trilingual assists me to communicate fluently and freely which is helpful for learning from a variety of sources and perspectives. It also beneficial when it comes to business negotiation which is valuable for my profession in the future. In my spare time, I read novels based on true events such as "In Order To Live" by Yeonmi Park and "The Choice" by Edith Eger. The first book taught me about how terrible life could be in a country where basic human rights such as freedom are heavily restricted. The second book taught me about life in Auschwitz, a historically significant event which as members of a globalised, mostly democratic society we would not want to see repeated. Moreover, I also read political news in a regular basis which offer me an array of understanding upon global events and how it played an enormous role of how it impact on our societies as a whole. Additionally, outside of my studies, I have undertaken football as a sport. This has strengthened my communication and team-building skills as well as provided me with a hobby which has other benefits such as helping me maintain my well being and develop my empathy as well as aiding in forming new friendships. All of the abilities and valuable knowledge I have gained myself, I believe that it will provide me in many advantages at the university. Plus, I always have the inspiration to improve the society in variety of ways that will develop the citizen and societies including education, standard of living and other well-round aspect after I graduate
Our
country
, Thailand, is
still
considered a developing nation and that will take years to
change
.
That is
what I
was taught
throughout my entire life in school and at home. Ever since, I have
thought
about how to narrow the prosperity gap where I
come
from. This is what has sparked my interest in the field of
International
Relations where I hope to serve as a diplomat for my
own
country
. I
think
studying this subject at undergraduate level will
help
me
realise
my vision of becoming an ambassador fighting for justice and equality at governmental level where my efforts can
make
a difference.

At high school I chose History as a subject due to my personal interest in global affairs. Of all those aspects, the one that I am eager to learn about the most is the conflict between Judaism, other religions and non-religious in Israel. Despite not having visited the
country
myself, as a
practising
Buddhist I
fundamentally
understand not
only
how such intense debate and tension has shaped
people
's views on the matter worldwide,
but
also
how the
governments
of the
countries
involved work to
minimise
the tensions at an
international
level in order to avoid conflict. This is why I
am intrigued
by diplomacy and its power to resolve issues in a calm,
civilised
and
profoundly
cooperative manner.
Furthermore
, I
also
dedicate my time to studying world historical
events
,
for instance
, how the French Revolution under King Napoleon had contributed
greatly
in the ruling system in France.
This enhance
my understanding more
specifically
why is it such an
impact


Another factor which has attracted me to the study of
International
relations is my
own
experience of being an
international
student in New Zealand and the UK. I have witnessed
first
hand the differences between nationalities and how the diversity of school participants from wholly contrasting linguistic and cultural backgrounds can have an
enormously
positive
effect in academic and personal development.
Likewise
, I believe this has shaped me into a global citizen with a heightened cultural awareness.
Furthermore
, speaking trilingual assists me to communicate
fluently
and
freely
which is helpful for learning from a variety of sources and perspectives.
It
also
beneficial when it
comes
to business negotiation

which is valuable for my profession in the future.

In my spare time, I read novels based on true
events
such as
"
In Order To
Live
"
by
Yeonmi
Park and
"
The Choice
"
by Edith
Eger
. The
first
book taught me about how terrible life could be in a
country
where basic human rights such as freedom are
heavily
restricted. The second book taught me about life in Auschwitz, a
historically
significant
event
which as members of a
globalised
,
mostly
democratic
society
we would not want to
see
repeated.
Moreover
, I
also
read political news in a regular basis which offer me an array of understanding upon global
events
and how it played an enormous role of how it
impact
on our
societies
as a whole.
Additionally
,
outside of
my studies, I have undertaken football as a sport. This has strengthened my communication and team-building
skills
as well
as provided me with a hobby which has other benefits such as helping me maintain my
well being
and develop my empathy
as well
as aiding in forming new friendships.

All of the
abilities and valuable knowledge I have gained myself, I believe that it will provide me in
many
advantages at the university. Plus, I always have the inspiration to
improve
the
society
in variety of ways that will develop the citizen and
societies
including education, standard of living and other well-round aspect after I graduate

IELTS essay Personal statementtttttttttt

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
605 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • The Recent Popularity Of Online Shopping Will Result In The End Of High Street Shops.
    In the contemporary era, it is a moot point that more and more people are turning towards online shopping this days which can lead to end of street shops. A significant chunk of the community welcomes the conception, whereas the remaining members oppose the same. This essay of mine will shed light o...
  • Self driving car is good or bad
    The author stated the possible advantages of self-driving autonomous cars over regular cars. He mentioned two points supporting this argument. First of all, the author pointed out the self-driving cars are safer than traditional cars. These cars are less prone to accidents as there is no room for h...
  • Many people believe that nothing ventures gains. Recently, the economy is more
    Many people believe that nothing ventures gains. Recently, the economy is more and more development, the world is in the 4. 0 technology era. This is a good time for everyone to establish the company so people think that it's is better to run your own business than to be an employee. In my opinion, ...
  • In recent years, it has become more normal for people in some countries to live in a "throw-away" community,
    In recent years, it has become more normal for people in some countries to live in a "throw-away" community, particularly in some nations have high consumption rate. In my opinion, I believe this trend could bring both advantageous and disadvantageous consequences on human's life. On the one hand, ...
  • advantage and disadvantage of part-time job for uni student
    In many countries, university students are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. The largest advantages are teenager will know the valuable of the money. Part-time jobs are help student have more experient about the future job. In the other ...
  • Today family conection is less than in the pass
    Nowadays, it seems that families tend to eat together less frequently. This essay will put forward some explanations for this trend and an analysis of the potential impacts. The fact that family members choose not to eat with each other can be attributable to two reasons. Firstly, since people thes...





Get more results for topic: