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As cities expanding, some people claim governments should look forward creating better networks of public transportation available for everyone rather than building more roads for vehicle owning population. What’s your opinion? Give some examples or exp v.4

As cities expanding, some people claim governments should look forward creating better networks of public transportation available for everyone rather than building more roads for vehicle owning population. What’s your opinion? Give some examples or exp v. 4
With the advancement and development of urban area, transportation system is also developing. However people argue that goverments should focus on developing the public transportation rather than expanding raods, helpful for privaye transportations. I completely go with the statement and think that government should build railway stations. On the one hand, development of the roads reduces the traffic, shortening the time of travel. The widening of the road decreases the density of vehicles which helps people to drive without any stoppage. Furthermore, majority of accidents take place everyday due to the unmanaged and damaged roads. With the proper repairement of roads, accidents are less to happen, accessing people to drive without any problems. In addition to that, public transportation won' t be crowded as people will travel by their own means. On the other hand, development transportation such as railway station eases people in many ways as they are cheap and more convenient. For instance, looking at the context of our country, majority of people are not able to afford their own private vehicle. So, travel via public transportation. Developments of public means can be a boon to many people. Moreover, railways can be useful for travelling long distances as they are fast, comfortable and safe. Also, development of roads increase the number of private vehicles, causing more pollution and more consumption of fuel. This degrades the nature as well as its resources. To conclude, governments should emphasize on developing the public transportations rather than the development of roads for private vehicles because public transportation is convenient, cheap and causes less pollution than cars.
With the advancement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of urban area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system is
also
developing.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
should focus on developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
rather
than expanding
Possible spelling mistake found.
raods
, helpful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
privaye
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build railway stations.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the traffic, shortening the time of travel. The widening of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
decreases the density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to drive without any stoppage.
Furthermore
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
accidents take place everyday due to the unmanaged and damaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. With the proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
repairement
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, accidents are less to happen, accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to drive without any problems.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
be crowded
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will travel by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
means.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
such as railway station
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and more convenient.
For instance
, looking at the context of our country,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to afford their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, travel via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means can be a boon to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, railways can be useful for travelling long distances as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, comfortable and safe.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
increase the number of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
, causing more pollution and more consumption of fuel. This degrades the nature
as well
as its resources.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should emphasize on developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
for private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is convenient,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and causes less pollution than cars.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay As cities expanding, some people claim governments should look forward creating better networks of public transportation available for everyone rather than building more roads for vehicle owning population. What’s your opinion? Give some examples or exp v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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