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Arts and Stemp, which is important these days

Arts and Stemp, which is important these days gqno7
These days, education is divided into three groups such as social science natural sciences and musically or artiscally gifted. And some individuals hold belief that art fields are not madatory for high school students due to the fact that recruiters tend to offer jobs to those who graduate with STEM qualification instead of individuals processing degrees in Art. In my view, I partly agree with this opinion. On the one hand, according to the recent survey, arts field is not formal and common. On the contrary, The house of companies and organizations are directly related to science technology engineering mathematics (STEM). As a result, the number of students studying arts sharply drops. Morover, there is a general peception that arts play less vital role in industrialization and modernization. For instance, in the industrial era, recruiters need employees have an acquaintace with STEM instead of arts subjects. Thus, some people think arts should not be included in the curriculum as a compulsory subject. ON the other hand, although arts are not more common as science subjects, no one can deny that its influence on the spiritual world of human society. Arts subjects enhance students' creativity, which is significant in the future. Nobody can imagine how the world would be without arts. Therefore, in some countries, schools treat arts with the same status as science subjects. Unlike sciences, Arts are the key to triggering students' creativity at high levels. For example, students who have an interst in drawing satisfactorily create productions because they are not frightened to be wrong. As a consequence, they will come up with many audacious ideas. In conclusion, STEM or artiscally gifted also play an essential part of human lives. Each field also contribute to create a perfect society in the future.
These days, education
is divided
into three groups such as social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and
musically
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
artiscally
gifted. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals hold belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
fields are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
madatory
for high school students due to the fact that recruiters tend to offer jobs to those who graduate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STEM
qualification
instead
of individuals processing degrees in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
. In my view, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

On the one hand, according to the recent survey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
field is not formal and common.
On the contrary
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and organizations are
directly
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
technology engineering mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(STEM)
.
As a result
, the number of students studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
sharply
drops.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
, there is a general
Possible spelling mistake found.
peception
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play less vital role in industrialization and modernization.
For instance
, in the industrial era, recruiters need employees have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
acquaintace
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STEM
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not
be included
in the curriculum as a compulsory subject.

ON the other hand
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are not more common as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, no one can deny that its influence on the spiritual world of human society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
enhance students' creativity, which is significant in the future. Nobody can imagine how the world would be without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Therefore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, schools treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
with the same status as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
are the key to triggering students' creativity at high levels.
For example
, students who have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
interst
in drawing
satisfactorily
create productions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not frightened to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. As a consequence, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
audacious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STEM
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
artiscally
gifted
also
play an essential part of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Each field
also
contribute to create a perfect society in the future.
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IELTS essay Arts and Stemp, which is important these days

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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