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Advance medical treatments are generally expensive. People's access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income

Advance medical treatments are generally expensive. People's access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income m8EKd
There is no denying that modern technology for complete health care comes at a very, very high price. A few believe that the health care package is based on the individual patient's income. However, it seems to me that the advancement of medical treatment should be equally accessible to all. In health care, all patients should be treated equally under all circumstances. Because first, the mission of each hospital is to try their best to save the sick. The most modern medical measures should be taken for people who are in a life-threatening condition. In addition, equitable treatment of the rich or the poor is considered an important humanitarian criterion. In particular, the medical ethics of the doctor is not allowed to discriminate against the patient during treatment. Poor people often suffer from serious diseases due to an unclean living environment, do not know how to take care of their health or financial problems to seek advice from a good doctor. However, as we all know, expensive advanced medical treatment is only suitable for the pockets of the rich, not the poor. In conclusion, access to appropriate medication should be available to any patient regardless of their budget. The government and should raise funds to support the poor to receive equal medical care as the rich.
There is no denying that modern technology for complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high price. A few believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
package
is based
on the individual patient's income.
However
, it seems to me that the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment should be
equally
accessible to all.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, all patients should
be treated
equally
under all circumstances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
first
, the mission of each hospital is to try their best to save the sick. The most modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
measures should
be taken
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in a life-threatening condition.
In addition
, equitable treatment of the rich or the poor
is considered
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
humanitarian criterion.
In particular
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
ethics of the doctor is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to discriminate against the patient during treatment.

Poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suffer from serious diseases due to an unclean living environment, do not know how to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
or financial problems to seek advice from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
doctor.
However
, as we all know, expensive advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
suitable for the pockets of the rich, not the poor.

In conclusion
, access to appropriate medication should be available to any patient regardless of their budget. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and should raise funds to support the poor to receive equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
as the rich.
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IELTS essay Advance medical treatments are generally expensive. People's access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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