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art essential subject at school

art essential subject at school e3pjO
Some people think that art is unnecessary and a waste of time at school, while others assume the opposite. This essay biases the former statement and will bring to the table the merits, as well as drawbacks art has on students. On the one hand, art might be dull to students, and the time and effort spent on art classes might return with no benefits. This might be caused by how teachers express their feelings and beauty inappropriately or too typically, making it hard to sense all the means it implies. Furthermore, art is not for everyone, so rather than making it a compulsory subject as many schools do, it might make students feel they are forced to do which brings them no benefits, or at least, they are obscure. Lastly, many art courses are taught in a traditional way, which might not be suitable for the era of technology like today. These teaching methods are not compatible with how students normally study with laptops and smartphones nowadays. These reasons contribute to the declining interest in art and thus making it seems useless for many people. On the other hand, art contains a priceless value in terms of offering humans a healthy and rich mental life, especially for students who are still in the process of shaping their characteristics. To clarify, by feeling sympathetic towards those poor good characters normally featured in books or stories, they might foster their empathy or love for humans, and put in other ways, it fosters the bond between people in the society. Moreover, by understanding and appreciating these masterpieces, students might be more enthusiastic and strive more for their goals, just like the authors who made them. Also, learning about ancient art helps students to know more about the identity and developments of the human through each stage in the past. In conclusion, I think although art might seem tedious, which makes it not helpful for some people, otherwise than that, all the benefits it brings are undoubtedly helpful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is unnecessary and a waste of time at school, while others assume the opposite. This essay biases the former statement and will bring to the table the merits,
as well
as drawbacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has on students.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be dull to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and the time and effort spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
return with no benefits. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be caused
by how teachers express their feelings and beauty
inappropriately
or too
typically
, making it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to sense all the means it implies.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rather
than making it a compulsory subject as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools do, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel they
are forced
to do which brings them no benefits, or at least, they are obscure.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
courses
are taught
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be suitable for the era of technology like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. These teaching methods are not compatible with how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
normally
study with laptops and smartphones nowadays. These reasons contribute to the declining interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
thus
making it seems useless for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
contains a priceless value in terms of offering humans a healthy and rich mental life,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
still
in the process of shaping their characteristics. To clarify, by feeling sympathetic towards those poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
characters
normally
featured in books or stories, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
foster their empathy or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for humans, and put in other ways, it fosters the bond between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the society.
Moreover
, by understanding and appreciating these masterpieces,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be more enthusiastic and strive more for their goals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the authors who made them.
Also
, learning about ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to know more about the identity and developments of the human through each stage in the past.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
seem tedious, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it not helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
otherwise
than that, all the benefits it brings are
undoubtedly
helpful.
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IELTS essay art essential subject at school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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