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argumentative essay of today's society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine and relies strongly on it

argumentative essay of today's society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine and relies strongly on it DqlG7
Traditional medicine is the ancient medical knowledge, practices and beliefs which developed over generations before the application of modern medicine. It is primarily involved herbs, plants, animals and minerals. Given by the modern technologies of medical sciences, I firmly believe today’s society does not relies strongly on traditional medicine due to less effective of treatment, serious side effects and unhygienic. First and foremost, traditional medicine is not always effective especially in serious cases. For instance, the practitioners will not be able to treat traumatic event, such as a broken hand, nor heal a heart attack as effectively as a specialist who is using an advanced and modern equipment. Owing to the fact that medicine unable to guarantee a cure, however modern medicine can minimize the potency of symptoms disease and improves health condition compared to traditional. This is because, traditional treatments are old fashioned in terms of medical sources and tools. In contrast, traditional medical quite effective in improving mental health particularly those associated with stress. In a nutshell, it can be said that traditional medicine is insufficient in most disease treatments. In addition, abused traditional medicine will trigger many severe adverse effects. This is because, traditional sources may contain various ingredients with high poison risk. For example, wild herbs or contaminated minerals. Seeing that, they are largely derived from nature, most people thought it do not possess any toxin. Instead, these sources have the possibility of toxicity. Indeed, the toxicity of a substance capable to develop harmful effects and simultaneously strike organ system of the entire body. In some cases, taking a combination of herbal consists of potent toxins together with drugs can result in life-threatening. On the other hand, many of the traditional medicine includes herbs like ginger and garlic have ability to control high blood pressure and reduce cholesterol level. In short, failure to identify sheltered sources can give bad consequences. Finally, the contamination by various microbes obviously can occur during production of traditional medicine therefore, will lead to unhygienic products. It may bring terrible impact and harm towards patients with potential outbreaks of infections. In other words, unsterilized tools or improper sanitization techniques used in traditional medical treatment are bound to increase the risk of disease transmission. However, traditional equipment such in acupuncture nowadays, needles are only used once for each treatment. In brief, the medicine improves in quality depends on its level of hygiene. In conclusion, today’s society is more reliant on modern medicine. Meanwhile, traditional medicine is not the best option of most societies due to less effective of treatment, serious side effects and unhygienic. Hence, societies should well advised in their option since medical is crucial role in health promotion and disease prevention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
knowledge, practices and beliefs which developed over generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the application of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. It is
primarily
involved herbs, plants, animals and minerals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sciences, I
firmly
believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "rely"
relies
strongly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
due to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
, serious side effects and unhygienic.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is not always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
especially
in serious cases.
For instance
, the practitioners will not be able to treat traumatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, such as a broken hand, nor heal a heart attack as
effectively
as a specialist who is using an advanced and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
equipment. Owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
unable to guarantee a cure,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
can minimize the potency of symptoms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
health condition compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
and tools.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in improving mental health
particularly
those associated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In a nutshell, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is insufficient in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
treatments.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, abused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
will trigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
severe adverse effects. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
may contain various ingredients with high poison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
For example
, wild herbs or contaminated minerals. Seeing that, they are
largely
derived from nature, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it do not possess any toxin.
Instead
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
have the possibility of toxicity.
Indeed
, the toxicity of a substance capable to develop harmful effects and
simultaneously
strike organ system of the entire body. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, taking a combination of herbal consists of potent toxins together with drugs can result in life-threatening.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
includes herbs like ginger and garlic have ability to control high blood pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cholesterol level. In short, failure to identify sheltered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences.

Finally
, the contamination by various microbes
obviously
can occur during production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
therefore
, will lead to unhygienic products. It may bring terrible impact and harm towards patients with potential outbreaks of infections.
In other words
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsterilized
tools or improper sanitization techniques
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
are bound
to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
transmission.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
equipment such in acupuncture nowadays, needles are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
once for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
In brief
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
in quality depends on its level of hygiene.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is more reliant on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is not the best option of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
due to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
, serious side effects and unhygienic.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
should well advised in their option since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
is crucial role in health promotion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
prevention.
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IELTS essay argumentative essay of today's society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine and relies strongly on it

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
450 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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