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Are you willing to carefully choose a gift which your friends like or buy whatever you like? Please include specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Are you willing to carefully choose a gift which your friends like or buy whatever you like? Please include specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The growing population in most major cities has made transportation an important topic. While some people believe a huge sum of money should be used in constructing new railway lines for very fast trains, others believe in the improvement of already existing means of public transportation. This essay will discuss both arguments in detail and give a concluding opinion. On the one hand, those who support the improvement of existing public transport argue that it is a cheaper alternative. They claim it is more financially prudent to get more buses and fix damaged roads (for instance) and divert the remaining funds to other sectors of the economy. In addition, they claim that the poor maintenance culture in most countries would seem to affect the new railway lines after some years. However, those who support the construction of new railway lines cite it as a possible means of depopulating major cities. They argue that if there are fast trains connecting cities, people would be able to live in one city and work in the other. This can be exemplified in countries like China where there are fast trains connecting cities and thus have been able to combat overcrowding of major cities. Also, it would appear that constructing new railway lines would reduce the pressure on already existing public transport, thereby making it more efficient. Furthermore, new railway lines might increase the ease of business transactions as goods can be transported with ease from one city to another, thus leading to an increase in the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of the country. To conclude, i would tend to side with the proponents of building new rail lines. Although it seems to be the more expensive option, it would appear to be more logical and financially rewarding in the long run. However, proper maintenance strategies should be put in place for optimal benefits.
The growing population in most major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has made transportation an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe a huge sum of money should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains, others believe in the improvement of already existing means of public transportation. This essay will discuss both arguments in detail and give a concluding opinion.

On the one hand, those who support the improvement of existing public transport argue that it is a cheaper alternative. They claim it is more
financially
prudent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more buses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
damaged roads (
for instance
) and divert the remaining funds to other sectors of the economy.
In addition
, they claim that the poor maintenance culture in most countries would seem to affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years.

However
, those who support the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
cite it as a possible means of depopulating major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. They argue that if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in one city and work in the other. This can
be exemplified
in countries like China where there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
thus
have been able to combat overcrowding of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Also
, it would appear that constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on already existing public transport, thereby making it more efficient.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
might increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of business transactions as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can
be transported
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
from one city to another,
thus
leading to an increase in the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of the country.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would tend to side with the proponents of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
. Although it seems to be the more expensive option, it would appear to be more logical and
financially
rewarding in the long run.
However
, proper maintenance strategies should
be put
in place for optimal benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Are you willing to carefully choose a gift which your friends like or buy whatever you like? Please include specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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