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Are you agree or disagree with idea of "Tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit".

Are you agree or disagree with idea of "Tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit". m8N8d
Tourism industry had an enormously growth over these years. Does the tourism had a real benefits? Form my point of view, tourism is a double-edges sword. It would give a plenty of benefits for economy. In contrast, without good regulations, it could be harmful. I strongly agree that it quite not benefits for Thai people. The most significant reason is problem which Thai people called a “Zero spend tour”. There are plenty of tourism companies are from China. They offer Chinese people a budget Thailand tour. Restaurant, store, bus driver, Guide, Cruise all belong to their company. Only few local business take part in their program. Furthermore they not allow the traveller to buy or take merchandise which not from their store onto the bus and lie that these goods will not be permit to be taken out from Thailand. This is the major trouble which threat Thailand economics system. Secondly, after the gigantic expansion of tourism, Thailand economy now depended too much on tourism. Government have no good policy and plan for develop a secured economy. When the incoming of COVID-19, world was shutdown and travel was restricted. Numerous business in Thailand were bankrupted, in the fact that they depend themselves too much on offshore traveller. In addition, after local business were out, there are influx of Chinese funds takeover these enterprise. Finally, this problem will repeated the first problem. In conclusion, Thailand had lose a lot from terrible tourism management of Government. I agree that it is a dis advantage of tourism blooming in Thailand.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
industry had an
You used an adverb ('enormously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('growth') instead of another adjective.
enormously growth
over these years. Does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
had a real benefits? Form my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a double-edges sword. It would give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits for economy.
In contrast
, without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
regulations, it could be harmful. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it quite not benefits for Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The most significant reason is problem which Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
called a “Zero spend tour”. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are from China. They offer Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a budget Thailand tour. Restaurant, store, bus driver, Guide, Cruise all belong to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
few local business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in their program.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or take merchandise which not from their store onto the bus and lie that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
will not be
Consider using a past participle here: "permitted".
permit
to
be taken
out from Thailand. This is the major trouble which threat Thailand economics system.

Secondly
, after the gigantic expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, Thailand economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
depended too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
policy and plan for develop a secured economy. When the incoming of COVID-19, world was shutdown and travel
was restricted
. Numerous business in Thailand
were bankrupted
, in the fact that they depend themselves too much on offshore
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
.

In addition
, after local business were out, there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "influxes"?
influx
of Chinese funds takeover
Did you mean "this enterprise" or "these enterprises"?
these enterprise
.
Finally
, this problem will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "repeat"
repeated
the
first
problem.

In conclusion
, Thailand had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "lost".
lose
a lot from terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
management of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a dis advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
blooming in Thailand.
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IELTS essay Are you agree or disagree with idea of "Tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit".

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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