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Are Talent TV shows the good way to find talent or just for entertainment?

Are Talent TV shows the good way to find talent or just for entertainment? 5kXmp
The rise of the entertainment industry is becoming more and more intriguing to audiences due to the diversity of TV shows, and looking-for-talent topics get the most attention. Whether these ideas TV shows is only about profit or an effective way to truly find talented people are still in discussion; I support the first idea which is that talent TV shows helps a lot on seeking gifted individuals. It is undinable that most TV shows is surviving by getting the interest from the audiances. This means that not only designing a show appeared on TV depending on the quality of the judges but also how diversity of the participants or the story behide all of them such as the fascinating background of the candidates, for example, how many obsticles they have overcome to achieve that level. American got talent proved themselves as a annual high budget TV shows due to the wide range performance of the participants. If it the performances it were extroardinary, they would rapidly increase the reputation of the shows; however; if they were a disaster, they also created relax and funny moments for everyone. Besides the high profit, I still support that those televised talent shows are worth invested to truly explore individuals’s potential. Taking One Direction band for instance, participating in X-Factor gave them a highly regconition from the judges and audience due to their great ability to sing. Even though the band was collapsed, each of the members still have their own career path and have their own hit songs. Moreover, considering the most successful talent shows in the world reveal that the judges are extremly important to optimize the chance to find the truly talented individuals. Gordan Ramsey from Master Chef or Simon Cowell from X Factor are known as the best in the world at their specialty. In my opinion, other talented shows could learn the recipe of the sucessful pioneers to help them not only achieving the core target fiding talent, but also being a billion-dollar industry. In conclusion, televisions bring a lot of benefit to expose talented individuals to other people, but being a show means being entertaining, both ideas cannot be seperated. Balancing between making profit and the core value will bring a huge success for this industry.
The rise of the entertainment industry is becoming more and more intriguing to audiences due to the diversity of TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, and looking-for-talent topics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the most attention. Whether these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about profit or an effective way to
truly
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
in discussion; I support the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot on seeking gifted individuals.

It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undinable
that most TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
is surviving by getting the interest from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
audiances
. This means that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
designing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
appeared on TV depending on the quality of the judges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how diversity of the participants or the story
Possible spelling mistake found.
behide
all of them such as the fascinating background of the candidates,
for example
, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
obsticles
they have overcome to achieve that level. American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
proved themselves as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
annual high budget TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
due to the wide range performance of the participants. If it the performances it were
Possible spelling mistake found.
extroardinary
, they would
rapidly
increase the reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
;
however
; if they were a disaster, they
also
created relax and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
moments for everyone.

Besides
the high profit, I
still
support that those televised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are worth invested to
truly
explore
Did you mean "individual’s" or "individuals’"?
individuals’s
potential. Taking One Direction band
for instance
, participating in X-Factor gave them a
highly
Possible spelling mistake found.
regconition
from the judges and audience due to their great ability to sing.
Even though
the band
was collapsed
, each of the members
still
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career path and have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hit songs.
Moreover
, considering the most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
in the world reveal that the judges are
Possible spelling mistake found.
extremly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to optimize the chance to find the
truly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
individuals.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gordan
Ramsey from Master Chef or Simon Cowell from X Factor
are known
as the best in the world at their specialty. In my opinion, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could learn the recipe of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucessful
pioneers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
achieving the core target
Possible spelling mistake found.
fiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
being a billion-dollar industry.

In conclusion
, televisions bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefit to expose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
individuals to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
means being entertaining, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
cannot be
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
. Balancing between making profit and the core value will bring a huge success for this industry.
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IELTS essay Are Talent TV shows the good way to find talent or just for entertainment?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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