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are talent shows a good method of finding talent people?

are talent shows a good method of finding talent people? jdGxp
Televised talent shows are popular in worldwide especially in the United States of America and the United Kingdom. Annually thousands of people participate in talent shows hold in their country or other international famous talent shows in USA or UK. In my opinion these kinds of talent-shows beside the fact that they are so entertainment programs and sitting down audience in front of TV for couple of hours, they have the power to show talented people to the world and help to the people with individual skill find sponsor and being famous. For example, American Idol TV show introduce lots of incredible singers to us and now we can enjoy their fantastic albums, Also American got talent TV show get enormous opportunity to talented people who had no chance to prove themselves, for making their dreams come true. However, these days social medial and the internet help individual people to express their talent and abilities but Televiewers still follow old fashion and like television talent shows, so they can be entertainment and support new brilliant and clever people.
Televised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are popular in worldwide
especially
in the United States of America and the United Kingdom.
Annually
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
hold in their country or other international
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
or UK.

In my opinion these kinds of talent-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
beside the fact that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
entertainment programs and sitting down audience in front of TV for
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
hours, they have the power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
find sponsor and being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

For example
, American Idol TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
introduce lots of incredible singers to us and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can enjoy their fantastic albums,
Also
American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enormous opportunity to talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had no chance to prove themselves, for making their dreams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.

However
, these days social medial and the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
Televiewers
still
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fashion and like television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be entertainment and support new brilliant and clever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay are talent shows a good method of finding talent people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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