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Are sports necessary in our daily life?

Are sports necessary in our daily life? D6ml7
People have different views about whether sports are necessary or not. While some people argue that sports are indispensable, others believe that they are just merely a form of entertainment. In my opinion, I think that although sports do not directly contribute to increasing the salary of people, they play a vital role in enhancing people’s health. On the one hand, it is true that for the most people, who are not professional athletes, playing sports does not help in terms of financial support. Nowadays, many people are struggling with earning their living and still do not have enough money to cover their utility bills. Hence, there is no room for sports in their life due to their lack of time. A person who has a nine-to-five job, for example, barely can find time to rest, much less to play sports. Besides, there are many sports that require costly equipment such as tennis or golf, which is too hard for average people to afford. Therefore, the popularity of those sports is still limited in a small part of society which are the rich. In addition, most children are taught to take education more seriously than sports. Thus, it is not so hard to understand the reason why sports are underrated. On the other hand, it is hard to deny that people’s health is significantly dependent on whether people play sports or not. This is because playing sports not only strengthens people’s physical condition but also enhances their mental health. A person who exercises regularly by playing sports will become more flexible and rarely suffer from diseases than a person that does not play sports. Moreover, playing sports also makes people happier by releasing hormones in our body such as dopamine or endorphins. That is the reason why people who play sports regularly will have more positive emotional status, which may help them perform better at work, contributing to improving their productivity as well. In spite of not involving in increasing people’s salary directly, it is true that playing sports partially does make their income higher indirectly. In conclusion, while playing sports is a form of leisure activity, it seems to me that sports are needed in everyone's life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
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sports
are necessary or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are indispensable, others believe that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
merely
a form of entertainment. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
do not
directly
contribute to increasing the salary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a vital role in enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.

On the one hand, it is true that for the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not professional athletes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in terms of financial support. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling with earning their living and
still
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to cover their utility bills.
Hence
, there is no room for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in their life due to their lack of time. A person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a nine-to-five job,
for example
,
barely
can find time to rest, much less to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Besides
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that require costly equipment such as tennis or golf, which is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to afford.
Therefore
, the popularity of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
still
limited in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of society which are the rich.
In addition
, most children
are taught
to take education more
seriously
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Thus
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are underrated
.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health is
significantly
dependent on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or not. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
strengthens
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people’s
physical condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhances their mental health. A person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
exercises
regularly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will become more flexible and rarely suffer from diseases than a person that does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Moreover
,
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happier by releasing hormones in our body such as dopamine or endorphins.
That is
the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
regularly
will have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
emotional status, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them perform better at work, contributing to improving their productivity
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
not involving in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
salary
directly
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
partially
does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their income higher
indirectly
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a form of leisure activity, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are needed
in everyone's life.
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IELTS essay Are sports necessary in our daily life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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