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According to some people government should focus on industries where as others opine that Government should focus on education

According to some people government should focus on industries where as others opine that Government should focus on education 7JOaX
In the current scenario, the developing countries are encouraging both education sectors and industries sector. In my opinion, both plays significant role in building the nation however education plays more important role in shaping the people of that country. This essay will discuss about major impact of both education and industries. Firstly, by boosting educational sector produces healthy knowledgeable people who can survive in competitive world. The world is rapidly changing in terms of technology and it is in need of competitive people. By acquiring good knowledge the person can start his own startup and start recruiting many people which in term helps in growing nation. Secondly,
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are encouraging both education sectors and industries sector. In my opinion, both plays significant role in building the nation
however
education plays more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in shaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that country. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss major"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about major
impact of both education and industries.
Firstly
, by boosting educational sector produces healthy knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can survive in competitive world. The world is
rapidly
changing in terms of technology and it is in need of competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By acquiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge the person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
startup and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
recruiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which in term
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in growing nation.

Secondly
,

IELTS essay According to some people government should focus on industries where as others opine that Government should focus on education

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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