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Are people influenced by advertisements?

Are people influenced by advertisements? bYPq3
I think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. These days, we see various advertisement on the Internet or television. Especially, I always see advertisement when I watch YouTube. I see all kinds of advertisement, for example, cosmetic and supplement. When I see these advertisements, I'm sure it look so attractive and I often gaze at the advertisement. Besides, famous actor and fashion models appear on these advertisements. It also attract the interest of me. After I see advertisement, I look for a product what was recommended in the advertisement in the store and I often it. Of course, I'm a little worried. I sometimes think that may be those cosmetics don't agree with me or those supplements are ineffective. I don't want to use what is shown in the advertisement to get the results I don't hope, and I know it's a waste of money if the results are different. Even so, I and people other than me are always interested in what is shown in an advertisement. I don't think we can tell until we actually use the things. we can't tell by looking at whether it suits our constitution or if it suits our ideal. Also, on the Internet, things that we search for are often displayed on our web page as advertisement. Many people may decide to buy it after seeing it, and they can't help but buy it themselves. That's why I think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things.

These days, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on the Internet or television.
Especially
, I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
YouTube. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
for example
, cosmetic and supplement. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, I'm sure it
Did you mean "looks"?
look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attractive and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
gaze at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor and fashion models appear on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. It
also
Did you mean "attracts"?
attract
the interest of me. After I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, I look for a product what
was recommended
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in the store and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
it.

Of course
, I'm a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
worried. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that may be those cosmetics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with me or those supplements are ineffective. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
what
is shown
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the results I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
hope, and I know it's a waste of money if the results are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
other than me are always interested in what
is shown
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
until we actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
by looking at whether it suits our constitution or if it suits our ideal.
Also
, on the Internet, things that we search for are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
displayed on our web page as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it after seeing it, and they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it themselves.

That's why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things.
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IELTS essay Are people influenced by advertisements?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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