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Are influencers on Youtube or other social media platforms setting a good example to the modern youth?

Are influencers on Youtube or other social media platforms setting a good example to the modern youth? 3gDxX
In contemporary society, due to the enhancement of technology, the influencers of social media perform important roles in children’s lives. Whereas the majority of children claim the opposite opinion, from my perspective, social media platforms have brought about an adverse example to the modern youth for assorted reasons. I will elaborate on my thoughts in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, social media platforms have caused a significant impact on modern youths’ academic learning. Since most people are motivated to profit a colossal amount of funds like famous youtubers they are inclined to spend most of their time watching their favorite influencers or youtubers. For this reason, folks, especially the modern youths, struggle to spare time for their academic learning. As they continue this kind of behavior, their academic knowledge will deteriorate. My friend Dennis is a compelling demonstration to delineate this concept. Dennis is an epitome of social media addiction. Dennis is into a youtuber named Lecrae, a Christian singer. Since he was hoping that there is possibility of Dennis becoming a famous singer like Lecrae, he spent several hours watching and reviewing his videos. Therefore, he could not focus on his academic activities. Since he consumed most of his time in watching his updated videos. Without the influencer, he could have paid more attention on his studies. On top of that, young adults tend to mimic celebrated influencers. Whereas this sort of activity can bring about positive results of modern youths, I firmly believe that this kind of behavior will influence modern youths negatively. For instance, despite of hazardous activities, people are endeavoring to intrigue congregation’s attention. According to a survey, countless young people passed away for mimicking those behaviors. This is mainly due to the fact that people are desperate in achieving a significant amount of funds. For example, in an application called Instagram, several celebrities do risky activities in order to earn money by having numerous followers. Then, modern youths are likely to follow those hazardous activities. This is because they crave for more followers to gain more money. Many have been injured and died during the process of taking video of themselves doing extremes. Without the influencers, these kinds of tragic activities could have been prevented.
In contemporary society, due to the enhancement of technology, the influencers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Whereas the majority of children claim the opposite opinion, from my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms have brought about an adverse example to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
for assorted reasons. I will elaborate on my thoughts in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms have caused a significant impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
youths’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
learning. Since most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are motivated
to profit a colossal amount of funds like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtubers
they
are inclined
to spend most of their time watching their favorite influencers or
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtubers
.
For this reason
, folks,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
youths, struggle to spare time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
learning. As they continue this kind of behavior, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge will deteriorate. My friend Dennis is a compelling demonstration to delineate this concept. Dennis is an epitome of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction. Dennis is into a
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtuber
named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lecrae
, a Christian singer. Since he was hoping that there is possibility of Dennis becoming a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lecrae
, he spent several hours watching and reviewing his videos.
Therefore
, he could not focus on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
he consumed most of his time in watching his updated videos. Without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influencer
, he could have paid more attention on his studies.

On top of that
, young adults tend to mimic celebrated influencers. Whereas this sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
youths, I
firmly
believe that this kind of behavior will influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
youths
negatively
.
For instance
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are endeavoring to intrigue congregation’s attention. According to a survey, countless young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
passed away for mimicking those behaviors. This is
mainly
due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are desperate in achieving a significant amount of funds.
For example
, in an application called Instagram, several celebrities do risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in order to earn money by having numerous followers. Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
youths are likely to follow those hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they crave for more followers to gain more money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
have
been injured
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
during the process of taking video of themselves doing extremes. Without the influencers, these kinds of tragic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.
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IELTS essay Are influencers on Youtube or other social media platforms setting a good example to the modern youth?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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