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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v.7

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 7
Nowadays, the invasion of privacy of famous people, such as celebrities, on mass media has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although the media somehow violates and gives more attention to the private lives, there is no need to give extra protection to them. To begin with, since famous people have profound influences on the public, their personal lives would be a target of the media. In other words, news about public figures would be attractive to a number of audiences who are fans and concerned about their idols’ lives, which guarantees a profit for the news’ owner. In addition, once a famous person has a flaw, he would be criticized more strictly than an ordinary one would be. For example, a singer wears a bag made of an animal hide, which encourages her fans to do the same thing. It is essential for the media to proceed against her action more strictly than the same act of an ordinary one. On the other hand, giving more concerns about famous figures’ personal lives should be taken into account. First, it is true that personal privacy is a radical demand for each person, therefore, famous ones are also in need. In fact, some celebrities are miserable that they even lose their freedom at home because there are many paparazzi around their homes watching and capturing them any time. Nevertheless, offering a special treat for their privacy may exaggerate the issue because they are capable of prosecuting who are invading their personal life. This means that people whoever attack personal life of any one should be considered a crime. In conclusion, a popular figure is merely a person who needs the privacy for himself. While the media ought to respect his privacy demand in order to avoid committing an offense, having more personal privacy should be treated by his own.
Nowadays, the invasion of privacy of
famous
people
, such as celebrities, on mass
media
has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although the
media
somehow violates and gives more attention to the private
lives
, there is no need to give extra protection to them.

To
begin
with, since
famous
people
have profound influences on the public, their
personal
lives
would be a target of the
media
.
In other words
, news about public figures would be attractive to a number of audiences who are fans and concerned about their idols’
lives
, which guarantees a profit for the news’ owner.
In addition
, once a
famous
person has a flaw, he would
be criticized
more
strictly
than an ordinary one would be.
For example
, a singer wears a bag made of an animal
hide
, which encourages her fans to do the same thing. It is essential for the
media
to proceed against her action more
strictly
than the same act of an ordinary one.

On the other hand
, giving more concerns about
famous
figures’
personal
lives
should
be taken
into account.
First
, it is true that
personal
privacy is a radical demand for each person,
therefore
,
famous
ones are
also
in need. In fact,
some
celebrities are miserable that they even lose their freedom at home
because
there are
many
paparazzi around their homes watching and capturing them any time.
Nevertheless
, offering a special treat for their privacy may exaggerate the issue
because
they are capable of prosecuting who are invading their
personal
life. This means that
people
whoever attack
personal
life of
any one
should
be considered
a crime.

In conclusion
, a popular figure is
merely
a person who needs the privacy for himself. While the
media
ought to respect his privacy demand in order to avoid committing an offense, having more
personal
privacy should
be treated
by his
own
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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