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Are extinction of plants and animals the main contributing factor of the environmental problems?

Are extinction of plants and animals the main contributing factor of the environmental problems? Dwj0A
In this day and age, the problems regarding the environment has already increased by many folds. Many people are suggesting that the decline in the percentage of specific species of plants and animals are the main concerns for the degradation of the environment while others are advocating that there are numerous other issues those requires more attention. I personally agree with the latter opinion more. Both the views will be discussed in this essay. A lot of plants and animals are decaying every single year. According to many researchers, if the declination continues then after a certain period of time in the near future, we will no longer have necessary plants those are directly helping us to produce medicines for the treatments of intricate diseases. For instance, plants are helping us to neutralize the negative effects of greenhouse gases, those are getting released in the environment on a daily basis. Not only plants but also a lot of exotic animals have already gone extinct. Despite the fact that the declination of animals and plants are causing various problems for our environment, still, there are a lot of other issues that should be taken care of. For instance, the air pollution in the metropolitan areas of many countries have already reached a level of great concern. In many overpopulated cities which are located in Asia, the air quality is so poor that it is not even safe to breathe. Due to lack of environment-friendly vehicle and the proper decentralization, the pollution is increasing more and more. Also, the noise pollution should not be ignored because it is a by-product of having too many people in a congested area. In addition, to meet the requirement of the growing population, a lot of industries are getting built which also contributing to the increase of environmental problems. In conclusion, the issues relating to the environment are getting worse and worse over the years. The sooner we take necessary measures to save the environment better otherwise, the human civilization will face a point of no return.
In this day and age, the problems regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has already increased by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suggesting that the decline in the percentage of specific species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are the main concerns for the degradation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
while others are advocating that there are numerous other issues
The verb 'requires' is singular. Did you mean: "This requires" or "those require"?
those requires
more attention. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter opinion more. Both the views will
be discussed
in this essay.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are decaying every single year. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers, if the declination continues then after a certain period of time in the near future, we will no longer have necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
those are
directly
helping us to produce medicines for the treatments of intricate diseases.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are helping us to neutralize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of greenhouse gases, those are getting released in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
on a daily basis. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have already gone extinct.

Despite the fact that the declination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are causing various problems for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
still
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of other issues that should
be taken
care of.
For instance
, the air pollution in the metropolitan areas of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have already reached a level of great concern. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
overpopulated cities which
are located
in Asia, the air quality is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
poor that it is not even safe to breathe. Due to lack of environment-friendly vehicle and the proper decentralization, the pollution is increasing more and more.
Also
, the noise pollution should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a by-product of having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a congested area.
In addition
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirement of the growing population, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of industries are getting built which
also
contributing to the increase of environmental problems.

In conclusion
, the issues relating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are getting worse and worse over the years. The sooner we take necessary measures to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
better
otherwise
, the human civilization will face a point of no return.
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IELTS essay Are extinction of plants and animals the main contributing factor of the environmental problems?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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