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(Apply the Ref NO: 2009101802 in speaking title, so users can understand which topic you are talking about) v.1

(Apply the Ref NO: 2009101802 in speaking title, so users can understand which topic you are talking about) v. 1
Nowadays, due to possessing gigantic funds, marketing and promotional people focus become more to the products from large businesses. There are certain problems associated with this and there are some solutions to convince people to opt for local products. On the one hand, buying products of the large companies have some problems associated with it. To begin with, people opt for products which are unnecessary, due to its exaggerated value and importance by marketing and making it a promotional item. This in turn result in spending a lot of money, and hence people become in debt, owing to borrowing money from friends or relatives. Another drawback is that, children become extravagant and demanding by seeing products from big companies. These product’s marketing is basically aimed at targeting the children and teenagers. For example, a recent survey has reported that in Pakistan 85% of children opt for ‘Casino Watches’ which have a strong marketed value in the country. Thus, opting for products from large companies result in making people to be in debt and making children more demanding. On the other hand, there are certain ways to cope with this issue. Firstly, marketing and promotion of expensive and unnecessary products should be banned or limited. Items from large companies are profoundly made so, that it attracts people. So, banning or making it limited, can solve the problem highly. This in turn would make the public to focus on their local made products. Secondly, mass media should promote the value and quality of local made stuff. This is because it would increase the vitality of locally available products in the minds of people. For instance, in China, in 2016 alone the priority of 80% people changed from buying highly promotional products to the local made items. In conclusion, large company’s products attract people attention, owing to the huge amount of money they utilized in marketing and promotion of it. This arise problems such as making people in debt and their children demanding. However, censoring the advertising of such products and promoting local products by media are some of the ways that make people opt for local items
Nowadays, due to possessing gigantic funds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focus become more to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
businesses. There are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with this and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opt
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products.

On the one hand, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opt
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are unnecessary, due to its exaggerated value and importance by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and making it a promotional item. This in turn result in spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become in debt, owing to borrowing money from friends or relatives. Another drawback is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become extravagant and demanding by seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
is
basically
aimed at targeting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
For example
, a recent survey has reported that in Pakistan 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opt
for ‘Casino
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Watches
’ which have a strong marketed value in the country.
Thus
, opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
result in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be in debt and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more demanding.

On the other hand
, there are certain ways to cope with this issue.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion of expensive and unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be banned
or limited. Items from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
profoundly
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, that it attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, banning or making it limited, can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
highly
. This in turn would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the public to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Secondly
, mass media should promote the value and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
made stuff. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would increase the vitality of
locally
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in China, in 2016 alone the priority of 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from buying
highly
promotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
made items.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attention, owing to the huge amount of money they utilized in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion of it.
The verb 'arise' is plural. Did you mean: "This arises"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This arise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in debt and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
demanding.
However
, censoring the advertising of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by media are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
ways that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opt
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay (Apply the Ref NO: 2009101802 in speaking title, so users can understand which topic you are talking about) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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