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Application Form for award

Application Form for award xaRoQ
We would like to go to North Korea to learn their life. North Korea is a very isolated country that is hard to enter. We will learn the life of the citizens of North Korea and their culture. Our plan is to stay with local families instead of staying at an inn. We will ask them about their daily life, culture, food, jobs and the rules they have to follow. We are also curious about their lives without modern technology. We will film all of their answers and make a short film out of it. We'll also try to film the road, the city and famous places of Korea. We hope to make this film popular and make people know about North Koreans' lives.
We would like to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Korea to learn their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Korea is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
isolated country
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to enter. We will learn the life of the citizens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Korea and their culture. Our plan is to stay with local families
instead
of staying at an inn. We will ask them about their daily life, culture, food, jobs and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow. We are
also
curious about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without modern technology.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
will film all of their answers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a short film out of it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
'll
also
try to film the road, the city and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
places of Korea.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this film popular and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Koreans'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

IELTS essay Application Form for award

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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