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answer the second task question

answer the second task question bOnG6
In some countries, majority of people are becoming keen on learning about the history of the house or building the live in. There are several reasons for this which I will outline now. P possibly the major factor is their interest. Some people delve into the stories of the homes simply because they are curious. As a result the can get a plenty of information about the history of the house There are also people who do research to find a sense of connection. In addition they try to investigate the history of the house. The best way to explore, I believe is to ask the elderly in their neighborhood. People might be keep in touch with them, they can discuss about the history. In conclusion, curiosity and a desire to seek a connection are two possible reasons why people investigate the history of their homes. To find answers, they should ask the old people in their neighborhood for help.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming keen on learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or building the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. There are several reasons for this which I will outline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

P
possibly
the major factor is their interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
delve into the stories of the homes
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are curious.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result the can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
house


There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do research to find a sense of connection. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
try to investigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

The best way to explore, I believe is to ask the elderly in their neighborhood.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with them, they can
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
history.

In conclusion
, curiosity and a desire to seek a connection are two possible reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
investigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their homes. To find answers, they should ask the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their neighborhood for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

IELTS essay answer the second task question

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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