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Animals should not be used for the benefit of human beings unless there is evidence that the animals do not suffer in any way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Animals should not be used for the benefit of human beings unless there is evidence that the animals do not suffer in any way. with this statement? v. 1
Nowadays, many children spend the majority of their time playing computer games and hardly engage in any sport or exercise. Overall, I believe this is definitely a negative trend and will discuss the reasons in the following essay. To begin with, most computer games these days are highly interactive and allow players to immerse in a complex storyline and control characters at their own will. For instance, Mortal Kombat 11 allows players to easily change the outcomes of the story based on the character chosen, which can trigger the imagination and curiosity of children, and encourage them to spend the whole day playing to discover all the story endings. The second reason for the popularity of computer games over sports is the sedentary lifestyle favoured by a large number of children, especially those living in big cities. Compared to sports, computer games are less physically demanding, and therefore draw much more attention from these lazy, inactive children. From my perspective, computer games can have many detrimental effects on children. Firstly, spending too much time on computer games without doing any physical exercise will reduce children’s calorie expenditure as they only sit at home and play games. This can make children more prone to many health problems, such as obesity or cardiovascular diseases when they grow older. Secondly, playing games excessively also causes children to lose their communication skills. As a result, it can be very difficult for game-addicted children develop the ability to establish connections with others in real life which are normally developed through participation in team sports, like football or basketball. In conclusion, playing computer games is becoming more popular than sports due to the interesting and interactive content, together with the low demand for physical strength. I personally believe that this trend does more harm than good, and should be prevented to ensure the proper development of children.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend the majority of their time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and hardly engage in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
or exercise.
Overall
, I believe this is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend and will discuss the reasons in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
these days are
highly
interactive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
players to immerse in a complex storyline and control characters at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will.
For instance
, Mortal Kombat 11
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
players to
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the outcomes of the story based on the character chosen, which can trigger the imagination and curiosity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and encourage them to spend the whole day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
to discover all the story endings. The second reason for the popularity of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is the sedentary lifestyle
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
those living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. Compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are less
physically
demanding, and
therefore
draw much more attention from these lazy, inactive children.

From my perspective, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, spending too much time on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
without doing any physical exercise will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
calorie expenditure as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sit at home and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more prone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems, such as obesity or cardiovascular diseases when they grow older.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
excessively
also
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to lose their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for game-addicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop the ability to establish connections with others in real life which are
normally
developed through participation in team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, like football or basketball.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is becoming more popular than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
due to the interesting and interactive content, together with the low demand for physical strength. I
personally
believe that this trend does more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
to ensure the proper development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Animals should not be used for the benefit of human beings unless there is evidence that the animals do not suffer in any way. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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