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An online friendship is no substitute for real friends.

An online friendship is no substitute for real friends. x8x0Q
We live in a contemporary world where technology is dominating our daily life. Way we used to communicate has changed throughout the years and Now it is possible to make friendship where distance doesn't matter at all. People are divided in their opinion regarding online friendship could be a replacement of real friends. Some agree with this statement and some are oppose to it. However, I side with the latter view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. To commence with, the differences between online friends and real friends are a few. And I believe, one cannot replace another. Due to the development of communication system, it has become possible to make friends without taking the distance into account. All though communicating with an online friend is easy but to have bonding, one must have real friends. For example, we make friends at school, university and workplace to have a good company, physical and metal support and it is possible when we have bunch of real friends. Furthermore, friendship is very important when one wants to have a jolly life. As a human, we are more likely to spend and enjoy time as a team or a group by nature and that is where the importance of a friendship comes. Having a friend physically available to be there when you need is considered to be a best friend and it is only possible by a real friend in contrast to an online friend. On the other hand, practicing online friendship can bring opportunity to have friendship without a limitation. As mentioned earlier, significant improvement of communication it has made it more possible to maintain communication with anyone around the world. Therefore, it has become easier to have online friendship than a real friends. Despite of that, with an online friend one can only communicate, share thought but not receive any activities as like a real friend can have. Namely with a real friend we can travel but with an online friend we can only share and communicate. To draw the conclusion, both aspect of friends are important but nothing can be a substitute of real friends.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a contemporary world where technology is dominating our daily life. Way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to communicate has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
throughout the years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
where distance doesn't matter at all.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are divided
in their opinion regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
could be a replacement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "ares"?
are
oppose to it.
However
, I side with the latter view and my reasons will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, the differences between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are a few. And I believe, one cannot replace another. Due to the development of communication system, it has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
without taking the distance into account.
Did you mean "although"?
All though
communicating with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to have bonding, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For example
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at school, university and workplace to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, physical and metal support and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
when we have
It seems that an article is missing.
bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
friends.

Furthermore
,
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friendship
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when one wants to have a jolly life. As a human, we are more likely to spend and enjoy time as a team or a group by nature and
that is
where the importance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
physically
available to be there when you need
is considered
to be
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in contrast
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
friend.

On the other hand
, practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
can bring opportunity to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
without a limitation. As mentioned earlier, significant improvement of communication it has made it more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
to maintain communication with anyone around the world.
Therefore
, it has become easier to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
that, with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
one can
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
only


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
communicate
, share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not receive any activities as like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
can have.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Namely
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
we can travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
share and communicate.

To draw the conclusion, both aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing can be a substitute of real

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
friends
.
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IELTS essay An online friendship is no substitute for real friends.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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