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Some people believe that the media such as the press, televison and Internet should be more strictly controlled. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the media such as the press, televison and Internet should be more strictly controlled. What extent 5akLN
Nowadays, many people access to media easily compared with the past. the media such as internet press and television is growing fast among the people's life. Some people think that these Media should be strongly controlled. I completely disagree with such an approach and the reason behind my disagreement will be fully explained in this assay The first reason why Media should not be strictly controlled is related to the dependent companies businesses and scientific investigates on information in media. Because, these people need to be up-to-date and modern in their fields. Consequently, they can progress and help societies in many subjects. For example, these days in Corona situation, if a country faces with problem, other countries and governments can be notified by television, press and Internet and act something to help. Second this procedure which control the media can turn to a way that it is used for bad purposes. Because, every one has a right which they use media freely and unlimited. In besides this, their privacy is respected. As result, if people is given wise right, they feel peace and calm in society. Therefore, in order to respect everybody, it is quite not to control them strictly. In the final analysis, it is true that if the media such as press, television and Internet is not controlled, some problems such as violence appear in society. Despite this, educational organs can teach people and build suitable culture to use media rightly and helpfully. Instead of strongly monitoring and controlling it. As result, problems of not strictly controlling should be solved.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
easily
compared with the past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as internet press and television is growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
should be
strongly
controlled. I completely disagree with such an approach and the reason behind my disagreement will be
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in this assay

The
first
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
should not be
strictly
controlled
is related
to the dependent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
businesses and scientific investigates on information in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be up-to-date and modern in their fields.
Consequently
, they can progress and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
societies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects.
For example
, these days in Corona situation, if a country faces with problem, other countries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
be notified
by television, press and Internet and act something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Second this procedure which control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can turn to a way that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, every one has a right which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
freely
and unlimited. In
besides
this, their privacy
is respected
. As result, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
wise right, they feel peace and calm in society.
Therefore
, in order to respect everybody, it is quite not to control them
strictly
.

In the final analysis, it is true that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as press, television and Internet is not controlled,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems such as violence appear in society. Despite this, educational organs can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and build suitable culture to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rightly
and
helpfully
.
Instead
of
strongly
monitoring and controlling it. As result, problems of not
strictly
controlling should
be solved
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the media such as the press, televison and Internet should be more strictly controlled. What extent

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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