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"An inequality of Thai education has been intact, Why do you think this is happening?" What can governments do to solve this problem?

"An inequality of Thai education has been intact, Why do you think this is happening? " What can governments do to solve this problem? 0MbAQ
Education make a lot of opportunities, which is progress in their life, so it is important for everyone. In big city of Thailand, school have more opportunity but in rural area lack of facilities. The topic of inequality of Thai education has been controversial. Educational inequality is the main reason why this is the case, and government should be responsible for solving this problem. One of the most important reasons why education in Thailand is inequality is that the difference of social status since the poor unable to access education because of poverty, but wealthy can provide budget to reach better educational opportunities. To illustrate, middle- class family can encourage their children to take extra course for better study opportunity. Besides upper-middle class and elite family can send their kid to study in overseas, which there are more qualities of education than Thailand. Another reason to support this is fact that attitude of parents is not support education. For example, many parents in the rural area are not support their student to study but force children to work for earning a living since they still young. Therefore, government should play a major role in education. In order to solve this issue, government should take action as soon as possible. the most significant solution to support this is fact that government should adjust teachers proficiency requirements in order to balance the teacher’s qualities over the country. Because someone who teaches student must proficiently. If teachers are proficient, parents will not send their students to take extra course or study in abroad. Furthermore, government should support scholarship and educational facilities such as books, computer and laptop to student. In conclusion, social status and attitude of parents are affect children education. If Thai government support the poor to study until they have knowledge for working, they will get away from poverty.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "makes".
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
, which is progress in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city of Thailand, school have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in rural area lack of facilities. The topic of inequality of Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has been controversial. Educational inequality is the main reason why this is the case, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for solving this problem.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in Thailand is inequality is that the difference of social status since the poor unable to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poverty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
wealthy can provide budget to reach better educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
. To illustrate, middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family can encourage their children to take extra course for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
.
Besides
upper-middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and elite family can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their kid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in overseas, which there are more qualities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than Thailand.

Another reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this is fact that attitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the rural area are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their student to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
force children to work for earning a living since they
still
young.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should play a major role in education.

In order to solve this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take action as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
most significant solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this is fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should adjust teachers proficiency requirements in order to balance the teacher’s qualities over the country.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
someone who teaches student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
proficiently
. If teachers are proficient,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their students to take extra course or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in abroad.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
scholarship and educational facilities such as books, computer and laptop to student.

In conclusion
, social status and attitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are affect children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. If Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the poor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
until they have knowledge for working, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from poverty.
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IELTS essay "An inequality of Thai education has been intact, Why do you think this is happening? " What can governments do to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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