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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solution can you suggest to deal with this situation?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solution can you suggest to deal with this situation? dNOX
In the fast pace of the world professions are increasing day by day. As a result, some prefer working in their leaving area. Although, the avability of several reasons which provoked this problem is irrefutable a couple of effective solutions can be suggested in order to tackle the issue. The masters of their jobs would like to work in foreign countries, which we are witnessing today could be coused by a number of reasons. Intially, everybody wants to support their family with good finance and it is connected to salary. Another important factor which contributes to this problem is lack of experience. Without any doubt, above mentioned causes are not the sole ones. But in terms of significance they over shadow other ones. On the other hand, what is needed to tackle the situation is the definite action could be done by government, raising the salary. Another obvious solution is changing experience among overseas. This could be done via promoting their skill. Of course, there can be other solutions as well, but for me there are not as effective as the mentioned ones. In conclusion, it is much more efficient to deal with this causes rather effects since, the prevention is better than cure.
In the
fast
pace of the world professions are increasing day by day.
As a result
,
some
prefer working in their leaving area.
Although
, the
avability
of several reasons which provoked this problem is irrefutable a couple of effective solutions can
be suggested
in order to tackle the issue.

The masters of their jobs would like to work in foreign countries, which we are witnessing
today
could be
coused
by a number of reasons.
Intially
, everybody wants to support their family with
good
finance and it
is connected
to salary. Another
important
factor which contributes to this problem is lack of experience. Without any doubt, above mentioned causes are not the sole ones.
But
in terms of significance they over shadow other ones.

On the other hand
, what
is needed
to tackle the situation is the
definite
action could
be done
by
government
, raising the salary. Another obvious solution is changing experience among overseas. This could
be done
via promoting their
skill
.
Of course
, there can be other solutions
as well
,
but
for me there are not as effective as the mentioned ones.

In conclusion
, it is much more efficient to deal with
this
causes
rather
effects since, the prevention is better than cure.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solution can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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