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In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? 1MRG
In ancient text scriptures our ancestors wrote numerous benefits of adopting a vegetarian diet, now it seems a certain segment of society is taking those old writings seriously. The food which we get from plants delivers ample benefits to our health in comparison to meat products. This essay will elucidate my views of considering the advantages of plant-based as a beneficial advancement. Firstly, vegetables and fruits contain essential vitamins and nutrients which are immensely vital for our reproductive system, on the other hand meat items lack these. To cite an instance, a survey was conducted by the BBC channel stated that individuals who consume more fruits have better sperm quality. Moreover, they are also less likely to diagnose with erectile dysfunction in their old age. Secondly, plant foods are cheap compared to meat products. Thirdly, folk who take their daily calories from meat are always at risk of gaining weight. To illustrate that, recent scientific studies have proved that the more you rely on a vegetarian diet more you will be fit due to the fact that this type of foods has fewer calories compared to meat. Another research also shows that a number of undiagnosable diseases that are extremely hazardous for humans such as COVID-19, always entered our society by consuming animals. In conclusion, according to a plethora of surveys and researches, the plant-based diet gives us uncountable health benefits, on the contrary, there are many health risks if we completely rely on meat. In my perspective, we should follow a vegetarian diet.
In ancient text scriptures our ancestors wrote numerous benefits of adopting a vegetarian diet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it seems a certain segment of society is taking those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
writings
seriously
. The food which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from plants delivers ample benefits to our health
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
products. This essay will elucidate my views of considering the advantages of plant-based as a beneficial advancement.

Firstly
, vegetables and fruits contain essential vitamins and nutrients which are
immensely
vital for our reproductive system,
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
items lack these. To cite an instance, a survey
was conducted
by the BBC channel stated that individuals who consume more fruits have better sperm quality.
Moreover
, they are
also
less likely to diagnose with erectile dysfunction in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
Secondly
, plant foods are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
products.

Thirdly
, folk who take their daily calories from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
are always at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of gaining weight. To illustrate that, recent scientific studies have proved that the more you rely on a vegetarian diet more you will
be fit
due to the fact that this type of foods has fewer calories compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
. Another research
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
undiagnosable
diseases that are
extremely
hazardous for humans such as COVID-19, always entered our society by consuming animals.

In conclusion
, according to a plethora of surveys and researches, the plant-based diet gives us uncountable health benefits,
on the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
if we completely rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
. In my perspective, we should follow a vegetarian diet.
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IELTS essay In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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