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An increasing number of people are flocking from villages and towns to cities in search for living. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

An increasing number of people are flocking from villages and towns to cities in search for living. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Agp51
In the modren era, more and more individuals want to live a luxury life and to complete this desire they are moving to urban areas, instead of living in rural area. Although it is a controversial topic, but, in the way i see it, it has more benefits in the comparison of drawbacks. To begin with, the first and foremost merit of this is better job opportunities. To be more precise, in ample cities there are big industries, which offers better pay and good work place to their employees. The second merit is that urban areas provide best health services. So it made easier for people to maintain good health. For instance many important equipments like ventilators are available there which can help in case of critical medical condition. Furthermore, another biggest advantage is educational facilities. To elaborate it, in metro cities there are almost all study related facilities like computers, good infrastructure and sports courts available. A research of Oxford University also shows that 90% of village students prefer to study in develop cities for better education. Eventhough, this phenomena has many benefits but it has a big drawback which is increased crowd in metro polis and due to this, pollution and traffic is increasing day by day. So that moving to a city for living could be injures to health.
In the
modren
era, more and more individuals want to
live
a luxury life and to complete this desire they are moving to urban areas,
instead
of living in rural area. Although it is a controversial topic,
but
, in the way
i
see
it, it has more benefits in the comparison of drawbacks.

To
begin
with, the
first
and foremost merit of this is better job opportunities. To be more precise, in ample
cities
there are
big
industries, which offers better pay and
good
work place to their employees. The second merit is that urban areas
provide best
health services.
So
it made easier for
people
to maintain
good
health.
For instance
many
important
equipments like ventilators are available there which can
help
in case of critical medical condition.

Furthermore
, another biggest advantage is educational facilities. To elaborate it, in metro
cities
there are almost all study related facilities like computers,
good
infrastructure and sports courts available.
A research
of Oxford University
also
shows
that 90% of village students prefer to study in develop
cities
for better education.
Eventhough
,
this
phenomena has
many
benefits
but
it has a
big
drawback which
is increased
crowd in metro
polis
and due to this, pollution and traffic is increasing day by day.
So
that moving to a city for living could be
injures
to health.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people are flocking from villages and towns to cities in search for living. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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