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An increasing number of people are changing their careers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It can be observed that a large number of people are opting to switch their professions. In my opinion, the demerits of this particular action overcome the merits for a number of reasons. The first major drawback results from a shortage of talented individuals in a certain profession if people are opting out of that. Secondly, persons who have picked a different occupation may find it hard to gain footing in their new sphere of work leading to emotional and financial hardships. To begin with, the outcome of a switched vocation, whilst beneficial for an individual, may have far-reaching consequences for that field. To explain, many professions today already have a declining number of experts practicing in those areas, and considering the nature of the field, it may lead to unfavourable results. For instance, in my country, Pakistan, many doctors, and surgeons have moved on to earn a living by acting on account of a higher amount of wealth and fame in lieu of the constant strain experienced by medical professionals. This, in turn, has resulted in a very limited number of doctors in Pakistan who are available to treat a growing population of the country. Another point to consider is that beginning a new career is not always seamless and obstacle-free and may become especially strenuous given the fact that it may cause the individual, new in that field, to start from scratch. Moreover, the individuals, owing to limited exposure and experience in their field, may not experience the desired level of success that they would like to attain. Hence, they may experience financial predicaments. Furthermore, they may even face emotional trauma resulting from their fruitless decision. To illustrate, I will give the same example of doctors-turned-actors in my country. Unfortunately, many of the aforementioned people did not taste success and fame and consequently turned back to their old professions. However, due to new skilled doctors in their field and a weak reputation, they have even faced difficulty reverting to their previous positions. In summary, the negative results are higher than the positive points when it comes to swapping careers. One reason is the repercussions of their actions on their abandoned professions resulting in a fewer number of experts and a second prominent reason is the ramifications of choosing a new career encountered by individuals which include an unsuccessful venture and the resulting financial and emotional difficulties.
It can
be observed
that a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting to switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
. In my opinion, the demerits of this particular action overcome the merits for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of reasons. The
first
major drawback results from a shortage of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting out of that.
Secondly
, persons who have picked a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occupation may find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to gain footing in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sphere of work leading to emotional and financial hardships.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the outcome of a switched vocation, whilst beneficial for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, may have far-reaching consequences for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
already have a declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of experts practicing in those areas, and considering the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, it may lead to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘unfavourable’ is British English.
unfavourable
results.
For instance
, in my country, Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors, and surgeons have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
on to earn a living by acting on account of a higher amount of wealth and fame in lieu of the constant strain experienced by medical professionals. This, in turn, has resulted in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of doctors in Pakistan who are available to treat a growing population of the country.

Another point to consider is that beginning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
career is not always seamless and obstacle-free and may become
especially
strenuous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that it may cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from scratch.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, owing to limited exposure and experience in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, may not experience the desired level of success that they would like to attain.
Hence
, they may experience financial predicaments.
Furthermore
, they may even face emotional trauma resulting from their fruitless decision. To illustrate, I will give the same example of doctors-turned-actors in my country. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not taste success and fame and
consequently
turned back to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
.
However
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
skilled doctors in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and a weak reputation, they have even faced difficulty reverting to their previous positions.

In summary, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results are higher than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to swapping careers. One reason is the repercussions of their actions on their abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
resulting in a fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of experts and a second prominent reason is the ramifications of choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
career encountered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
which include an unsuccessful venture and the resulting financial and emotional difficulties.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people are changing their careers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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