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When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details

Nowadays, immigrants are in a dilemma about whether they should adopt the traditions of the country they are staying at or keep practicing their own's country costums. In my opinion, both of these two countries traditions should be utilized for the reasons that are going to be mentioned. To begin with, by choosing to maintain only the customs of the country they are staying at, even though they are gonna be able to have a better communication with the traditions that make their homeland unique. It is something that is going to result at a confusion of their own identity and probably make them feel like they are somehow lost. The relationship with their relatives will also be in danger since they might feel offended by such a behaviour and consider it an insult to their culture. On the other hand, choosing to practice their traditions and also few of the foreign countries traditions might help them way more. By doing this, they keep being connected to their country's history and the relationship with their family won't fade since customs tend to revive their relationship. Also, adjusting themselves at the new customs of the country they moved at will be a positive feature of them because this means that they respect the specific country and so it's gonna be easier interacting with other people. In conclusion, customs are really important and according to the points I made above, I strongly believe that they need to keep the traditions both of the country they are staying at and their homeland.
Nowadays, immigrants are in a dilemma about whether they should adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are staying at or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
practicing their
Do not use ‘s with a verb. Did you mean “owns”?
own's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Possible spelling mistake found.
costums
. In my opinion, both of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
should
be utilized
for the reasons that are going to
be mentioned
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by choosing to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the customs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are staying at,
even though
they are
The word ‘gonna’ is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be able to have a better communication with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their homeland unique. It is something
that is
going to result at a confusion of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity and
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel like they are somehow lost. The relationship with their relatives will
also
be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
since they might feel offended by such a
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
and consider it an insult to their culture.
On the other hand
, choosing to practice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and
also
few of the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them way more. By doing this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
being connected
to their country's history and the relationship with their family won't fade since customs tend to revive their relationship.
Also
, adjusting themselves at the new customs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
at will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feature of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this means that they respect the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's
The word ‘gonna’ is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be easier interacting with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In conclusion
, customs are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and according to the points I made above, I
strongly
believe that they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are staying at and their homeland.
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IELTS essay When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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